Category Archives: Uncategorized

I have been doing marriage therapy for nearly three decades.  And one thing is for sure- people experiencing marital difficulties wait a long time before they get help.  In fact, research shows that, on average, people wait six years before … Continue reading →

As a liberal, card-carrying Democrat, I am nonetheless appalled by the Pamela White’s article “Defending Divorce.” When nearly one out of every two marriages ends in divorce, divorce hardly needs defending. Beside that, the article is filled with erroneous assumptions … Continue reading →

When your marriage is on the rocks, you start to wonder how relationship goals that require two people’s active participation apply to you. You read articles about setting goals for the new year and you feel downtrodden and left out.  … Continue reading →

Continued from Part 1 Your attempts at change were halfhearted Sometimes when there is a lack of improvement, it is because when you’ve experimented with a technique, you only did halfheartedly.  If your heart isn’t in it when you approach … Continue reading →

Answer:

I really love my husband. We are on the brink of divorce. For about 4 years now he has told me that he doesn’t love me 10 times, 4 times just the last year. What do I do?

It is that “Sticks and stone will break my bones but names will never harm me,” and nothing could be further than the truth. Words do sting. A lot. But your husband isn’t taking you seriously. Your words aren’t getting through to him. Sometimes, especially with men, and especially with action-oriented men like your military man, you need to take action and stop talking. He needs to feel that he might lose you if he keeps up this insensitive and unkind behavior.

I wonder if there is a place you can go with your girls if he tells you he doesn’t love you anymore? Do you have a friend or relative you can visit for a while? Also, if her pursues you when you are gone- which he might- you can tell him that your asexual relationship isn’t working for you either. Let him know that you need more intimacy and closeness.

Furthermore, tell him that you are getting used to being on your own and that you are doing ok without him. Then watch how he responds. If he comes closer, make sure that you are tough with him. Hold the line. If he pulls away, you can always reverse your position. But chance are, getting tough will be a better way to approach this situation. I bet you’re ready to do this anyway!

Look for support offered to you through he military. Sometimes there are very good resource available to military spouses!

Hang in there,

Michele

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If you have reached an impasse in your marriage-saving efforts, you will want to read this three-part series because it will help you diagnose the reasons you might be stuck. Don’t despair, just make sure you read this and the … Continue reading →

Marriage saving tips for leaving no stone unturned Continue reading →