Turn off your phone. Go outside. Walk over to someone's lawn, pull some grass and smell it. Walk further down the block. Keep walking until you know you won't text him.
Turn off your phone. Go outside. Walk over to someone's lawn, pull some grass and smell it. Walk further down the block. Keep walking until you know you won't text him.
I'm really tempted to text him right now. Talk me down.
Take you cell phone apart and hide the pieces. Battery, sim card and body all in different places. Then go for a walk.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Your H needs to process his anger before contact with you will be anything other than negative. Give him that time, and use that time to get yourself into a better place. You texting him is a selfish act at this point, as he has made it clear he doesn't want to talk to you.
Once your H gets through most of his anger, he'll probably be willing to talk.
Music helped me alot when I was tempted to call but I knew it wasn't going to help. I never got the reaction I wanted from the call. In fact, most of the time, the call made me feel even worse. At work, I kept headphones so I could listen to music that would distract me.
Another idea is trying to distract yourself with whatever your work is. Is there some kind of project or meeting or something so you can redirect your thoughts? You already did the thing most of us did/do...you came here. Journal away about whatever you would tell him. Start the post with Journaling...so we know that's what you're doing or keep a written journal handy. Sometimes just getting out the thoughts will help and you won't feel like calling anymore.
I just read the end of your old thread and whether you believe it or not, it sounds a lot like me several years ago when I had to D my first husband. There was abuse so I knew in my head that I was doing the right thing but my heart wanted him to change and make our M better. Of course, he wouldn't.
One therapist that I went to listened to me for over the "hour" and then said, "Do you hear what you are saying? You want this man who has never done anything for you to stop his current selfish actions and DO....for you to have closure. That is about YOU not him. " I got mad at her and never went back. But, over time, what she said has sunk in and it's true. What I wanted him to do was about me. He knew that and was never going to do it.
Your H is probably still in a very hurt and angry place. He knows that you need.....for closure and he will not give it to you right now(maybe never). You need to make peace with that and try to let go of your need for this conversation. From what you've already told us, this is not new behavior for him. It's exactly how he's acted every time you've needed communication from him. It's time to make peace. He's not going to give you what you need.
(((SoA))) Why do you feel it's more important to get his forgiveness, than to forgive yourself?
Why do you keep valuing him more than you do yourself?
Good question. I don't know. I don't think he meant to hurt me or make me feel unloved. I didn't intend to hurt to hurt him by what I did, but the bad I've done far outweighed the bad he did.
