Midlife wife crisis5

[Wolfman]

Here is the old thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2845740&#Post2845740

[neffer]

There´s no chance to be more selfish than a WW. I was one of them, believe what I´m saying. Just validate her feelings and remember to believe nothing that she says and half of what she does...

Calm and patience. Use your time wisely

Stay strong there, keep DB.

Respect!

[Ready2Change]

I know later which I will only see her for a few minutes when I leave she will bring up why I took both days or how selfish I am. How should I respond to that when it comes up?

W:"H, bla bla bla both days bla bla bla selfish bla bla bla bla bla"
H:"W, I can see why you think that is selfish. Which one of the days would you like?"
W:"Bla bla bla bla bla"
H:"I believe it is best if we firm up the parenting scheduled to reduce future confusion. I will email you a proposal."
W: Bla bla bla Bla bla bla Bla bla bla Bla bla bla"
H:"I will think about that" or "I am not sure" or "I have not thought about that"

[Wolfman]

R2C thank you. When I ask which day would she like, and she says a day, give her that day? I like the responses. Thank you.

[Ready2Change]

R2C thank you. When I ask which day would she like, and she says a day, give her that day? I like the responses. Thank you.

Yes.

Also be prepared to have both days. Be OK with what ever choice she makes.

It is your job to push for 50/50 parenting.

H"It is very important that both parents are equally involved in the children lives"

[Wolfman]

Journal: just trying to figure it out. Kinda wrap my head around what she is planning. We finished with the mediator a while ago. The paperwork went over to the mediators lawyer. We received an email to make an appointment with the lawyer to go over the paperwork. Yet, that was 2 weeks ago and she hasn’t mentioned about going to do the paperwork. I am trying to figure out what her delay is? Not that I wanted it, w was so for it and wanted to move it along is not doing anything. Just talking out loud. But will take an insights.

[LH19]

W,

You’re wasting energy trying to understand a WW. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row to prepare for the meeting.

[ballast]

Wolf,

Listen to LH...you will reach a point where you care not about her what or why and instead focus on getting done with her and getting your life back. As LH also says you be prepared for anything and have your s88t together.

A few months into my sitch I spent a whole bunch of time free of her, but still trying to rationalize what happened...a few months later I dropped it as it was a waste of time and energy. You will get there as well.

-B

[Wolfman]

LH, trust me I’m am not wasting that much time on it. She doesn’t deserve my time. My ducks are in a row. I have definitely noticed from being on here she doesn’t make a lot of sense.

[AnotherStander]

Journal: just trying to figure it out. Kinda wrap my head around what she is planning. We finished with the mediator a while ago. The paperwork went over to the mediators lawyer. We received an email to make an appointment with the lawyer to go over the paperwork. Yet, that was 2 weeks ago and she hasn’t mentioned about going to do the paperwork. I am trying to figure out what her delay is? Not that I wanted it, w was so for it and wanted to move it along is not doing anything. Just talking out loud. But will take an insights.

This happens ALL THE TIME. My XW went to a L, had all the papers drawn up and told me she wanted to give them to me for review. I took on a "don't ask" policy and that was the last I heard of it for over 6 months. Eventually I decided I wanted the D, so started prodding her for the papers and eventually she gave them to me. The bottom line is if you can remove the pressure they almost always quit talking about D and pushing for it. A lot of times like in my case it's the LBS that finally gets tired of it and pushes it through.