UH OH, ten minutes till call back for bad news

[onedge]

I just got off the phone and have to call back in 10 minutes coz' my WAW has to tell me something? I'm pretty sure it wont be good, I need to calm down so I'm on here to vent, what do i do, what do i do. i'm not expecting a reply to this but it couldn't hurt just some words of wisdom to settle my nerves

[istherehope]

Hi,

I'm hardly one with loads of wisdom, but do have a WAH. The only advice that I can give is that which has been given to me numerous times:

1)Don't make this a self-fulfilling prophecy by expecting the worst. Try as much as possible to go into this with no expectations about what she is going to say.

2) Remember not to believe everything the WAS says. You haven't been separated very long, and I'm sure she's still processing things.

3)Even if you are dying inside, see this as an opportunity to show her how strong you are, by just listening to everything she says, even if she says the worst. This will really surprise her and perhaps leave her feeling a bit unsure and unsettled.

4)By being strong and showing her that she shouldn't feel guilty, you have a better chance that she actually won't leave, because she will think that you are capable of handling this all.

Best of luck. Please update us on how it goes!

ITH

[onedge]

I think, i thing i'm really pissed off. yeah i am. and hurt too. Someone was in here backyard last night, and got into her car. she wanted to talk to me to make sure it wasn't me "trying to scare her". WFT?!? she was like, "i never thought you would, but i had to ask. I validated and said "i understand your need to ask" but had to say "because sometimes there are things I need to ask but don't believe". But seriously, i might be sad about the whole thing but WTF?!? I'm not that much of an idiot!

[istherehope]

Hi,

While I would also be frustrated at that conversation, I would take comfort in the fact that it wasn't what you thought it could be. It wasn't a conversation where she said she wanted to end things. Your profile says your W is depressed. I am pretty sure my H is also depressed. This leads to strange behavior and them saying things that make no sense. Maybe your W really just wanted to talk to you about what happened, and felt that she needed an excuse to do so, the excuse being to ask you if it was you.

Sounds like you handled it pretty well. How was the conversation left? Did you end on a positive note, was there any R talk of any kind?

ITH

[onedge]

Nah, no R talk. I don't know if she could really say anything more of us ending, we are "separated" but really, we aren't much of anything, i don't know what she wants. The conversation ended on a well, average note wasn't good, wasn't bad, couldn't have really asked for much else right now. W has been diagnosed with clinical depression, and I guess i didn't consider the part that may have played. I'd like to think that she wanted to talk to me