I was so touched last night because my stepson called my cell phone. I missed the call and tried to call him back but didn't get through. What mattered to me is that he called. It was like God sent me an angel yesterday - just when I needed one. I will call him back later this week.
Today I read a devotional that talked about not doubting. I did feel that it was speaking to me - that I need to really trust God in this situation. That having faith is so crucial.
I tried to be nice and sent a cute email to my H with a short note to say I hope he is doing well, etc. I didn't get any response yet. Not sure if he's giving me a message that he wants to stay awya and that I should stay away as well. This is the 2nd time in 2 weeks that he's ignored my wish...
I just continue being caring because I believe that's what God wants me to be.
It is really difficult for you because you just don't know what he is thinking.
Hopefully with the holidays approaching, he will think about all of the nice times he had with you.
Don't doubt, just keep having faith.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yes PH don't doubt, do what is in your heart with no expectation. There were so many times my h never responded to an e-mail. So many!
Now, as we have talked in c, I don't think h even realized by not responding what affect that had on me. I just think either he didn't want to acknowledge or he was just so depressed.
Hang in there!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Thank you for encouraging. Yes, I agree - I have been getting thes "do not doubt" message for quite a few days now. The Enemy is really sending me many negative thoughts to try to get me to give up praying BUT I am still praying.
Yes, I agree that sometimes our H's don't think they need to respond. I wasn't surprised by the lack of response. Just made me wonder what it means...
All, I did get a response 2 days later. He said that he can't see us getting back together, even after all this time.
Says I have been sweet and extremely supportive throughout our separation but he can't get over the problems in our past. I think this means that he is afraid that the problems will surface again.
Says that we had too much fighting and spent many nights sleeping in different rooms. That we didn't understand each other, and didn't meet each other's needs. ---- I am convinced that alot of this is due to the differences between men and women, in the way they interpret each other. Women can across as disrespectful when they are not trying to be, while men can come across as unloving when they are not trying to be. Learned this from "Love & Respect" (loveandrespect.com).
But if he doesn't want to try, he will never find out but just always carry this burden/baggage of unresolved problems from our past and the pain that goes with it. I am not trying to fix him. I am just concerned for his sake.
He says he still loves me, and thinks about me and our dog every day.
I feel SO much love for this man, that he has NO idea just how much. But God does. I pray for him every day for God to protect him, guide him, bless him abundantly, and give him peace.
(((ph))) I know that must have been hard to hear. It is so difficult when you know you both love each other and it could work but the other person won't take down their walls. Anyway, I have no advice...I just wanted to let you know I can relate to what you are feeling.
I tried to be nice and sent a cute email to my H with a short note to say I hope he is doing well, etc.
And then you got this response back from your H:
Quote:
He said that he can't see us getting back together, even after all this time.
Says I have been sweet and extremely supportive throughout our separation but he can't get over the problems in our past.
Says that we had too much fighting and spent many nights sleeping in different rooms. That we didn't understand each other, and didn't meet each other's needs.
I am puzzled. Exactly what did you write that would prompt such a specific relationship-laden response from your H???
Just WHY did your H answer a "cute email" with a rehashing of why he doesn't think your marriage can work??
About 4 weeks ago, I sent him a cute email,saying thanks for helping me out with the basement, and for doing such a good job with it, and that I appreciated his consideration....in doing it all by himself because I couldn't handle the fumes from the paint. He responded the next day saying he was glad I liked the basement work, and asked if I needed help with moving the stuff back in the basement. He also told me about his cold and that he was working on Saturdays because it was so busy at work.
2 weeks ago, I sent a cute email of 1 squirrel rubbing the back of another squirrel. The email was forwarded by a friend and also said "To all my nutty friends, Have a stressful day". Nothing romantic. I just added a short note saying "Hope you recovered from your cold and that work is going smoothly." He never responded to that email. I was fine with that. There really wasn't any need to respond, but when he didn't respond I did wonder if he was withdrawing again after the sleep-over in Sep.
But perhaps he got reminded of me giving him backrubs, which he absolutely loves and perhaps he thought I was pressuring him. that was NOT my intention at all.
This week, I sent another email of s dog practising a look which said it was unavailable because it was practising a look to get away with anything. I said the email was from our dog. My short note was "Hope you are well, and that work is going well. Been thinking - there are many things I respect you for." I added that last part just to let him know he was appreciated. I wasn't pressing him for anything....
His email response started by saying it was tough for him to respond to my emails for the following reasons.... He said he just wanted to let me know his thoughts.
The gist of the email - I posted this morning. Perhaps, he's been doing alot of thinking about us. He says he struggles with our past problems every single day.
I wish he'd bring down his walls and at least go to counselling with me to sort out his pain and anger, instead of carrying this all this time. I wish he would trust me, and trust God to heal our marriage.
