Eliciting Anger vs. "The Right Thing to Do"

[Ready2Change]

And the other three agreements:

"Be impeccable with my word"
"Always do my best"
"Do not make assumptions"

Following the four agreements is the path to happiness.

[FaithnAK]

Bump for ez find

[TimeHeals]

I like the whole idea of "Doing the right thing... as if God, himself, were sitting there watching you".

You don't even have to be religous to get that either. It is saying to aspire to a more objective, universal ideal of doing the right thing ... often despite any emotions or personal agenda.

Or to paraphrase Coach, don't act on your emotions. Act on your principles.

[FaithnAK]

I like the whole idea of "Doing the right thing... as if God, himself, were sitting there watching you".

This is exactly how I'm approaching from here on. My feelings, thoughts, emotions, and how I would look with ALL reactions/actions.

Very good thread that I would hope everyone can read and truly see what you can get from this.

[Starsky309]

Many of us struggle with this, and you've seen me repeatedly exhort new, struggling DB'ers to care more about "doing the right thing" than they do their runaway spouse's anger.

I just saw this on another thread, and I think it's exceptional:

I can stir her emotions to draw out information. I DO NOT CARE if she is angry. When she is ANGRY, she voices her "true feelings" and I gain insight. She asks me questions. I choose to delay my response. This stirs her emotions.

Until we learn to care more about doing "The Right Thing to Do," in every situation . . . the thing that God Himself would have us do if He were standing right in front of us . . . instead of worrying if our runaway, often CHEATING spouses "get angry" . . . we will never truly get anywhere.

More great stuff. ^^^


Starsky