If women are truly prisoners of their feelings, and if their feelings are utterly dependent on the actions of their husband, then life marriage is a flawed concept, and we should stop pretending it isn't.
Not it at all. Just as a dog uses his sense of smell as their primary input. Women use their feeling as theirs. It's not the end all and be all. It's what they use first, you need to be aware and how it effects the dynamics. Women aren't dependent on their husbands they want to partner with them, they want their partner to see them for who they are.
Men like things stable. It means things are working they way we planned. Woman want things more interesting - nagging, drama, testing - they want some challenge, shake things up. They want to see some action from their man. It's a way to see if you can "handle it." They want the security plus the ability to handle a crisis when needed. The "testing" is not intentional or planned it is intuitive to how they are.
The testing is way for them to feel secure. They know when they get emotional it calls us to action. Make sure you are addressing the issue and not the emotion. This is when being a cat whisperer helps. I can't use the same tools as I would communicating with a man. Men lead with logic. You have to understand her thinking behind the emotion and watch her actions to get the message. Drives us dogs nuts. When your woman feels understood it makes all the difference - it's what they want.
Try it out. It is amazing to watch it work. Look here on the site, when a male DB posts to woman and has empathy and validates the woman, she is very receptive. Give her a direct 2x4 and watch the response. Same message different delivery. It works the same when calling them out on CB, they love it because you see them and are standing up to their feelings and addressing the issue. (your approach is a little more direct here.)
You are not responsible for her feelings, she doesn't want that. She wants you responsible for the family, the marriage, taking care of yourself, loving her and being a man.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach that is a great explanation. It's so true, but so sad that so few men know that. We try to treat our wives like another one of the guys and wonder what went wrong after the fact. Just learning that lesson in itself would change the dynamic of so many marriages.
I can buy the different brain wiring Theory to an extent.
However women need to do much more to fix themselves as a man can get way over stressed when too much BS is thrown at him. Beyond a point there's no excuse for bad behavior and disrespect and cheating or it becomes 'co-dependence'.
This just goes back to if a woman wants to be with you in the right way you will know...
You will not sit there and think "well, maybe she wants to be with me, but does she want to build a lasting relationship too?"
Honestly, how in tune do you expect someone to be to even know that is the case?
To quote Gucci "You're making this more complicated than it is".
If a woman WANTS to be with you in the RIGHT WAY, there will be NO QUESTION about whether or not she wants to build a lasting relationship... She will just start to build it.
Thats what "piecing" is, right?
Like I said... If you are sitting saying to yourself...
"Well, she wants to be with me, but does she really want to build an actual relationship?"
She doesn't.
Isnt that the POINT of "being with" someone?
To build a relationship?
Otherwise, what the hell are you doing?
Staying together for the kids?
Thats no good.
Being together because of co dependency?
Also a mistake.
If you are NOT together with the sole purpose of building a relationship, whats the point?
You can say "trying is the right thing to do" till the cows come home, and a WAW might honestly feel that trying to repair your M is the "right" thing to do... But if she isnt INTO IT...
If she isnt INTO YOU!
It's not gonna work.
And this, while a bit long, is still shorter than my entire sitch thread which basically says the exact same thing.
However women need to do much more to fix themselves as a man can get way over stressed when too much BS is thrown at him.
That's the point, she throws BS (testing) to see if you can handle it. When you can't handle it she loses attraction. She wants to be called out on the CB, this in turn lessens your stress. A woman isn't attracted to a man who let's his womans emotions run over him and stress him out.
Ever wonder why women are attracted to "bad boys" ?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
That's the point, she throws BS (testing) to see if you can handle it. When you can't handle it she loses attraction. She wants to be called out on the CB, this in turn lessens your stress. A woman isn't attracted to a man who let's his womans emotions run over him and stress him out.
Ever wonder why women are attracted to "bad boys" ?
This is an incredible truth. Practice it and you'll see the results.
Ever wonder why women are attracted to "bad boys" ?
Not me. I was one for a very, very long time. They get tired of a negative challenge eventually too
Yep, the attraction is just part of it the stability and security is also needed.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
