How do you know there's not another phone? Don't discount the OM just yet. He may be paying for one. WAS are sneaky. Not saying there isn't one, but don't just assume there's not.
I worked out the time line since she last was texting him. She hasn't left the house since she last texted him so theres no other phone. If she had another phone at prior to that time why not use it then? Doesn't make sense, but who knows I just strongly doubt it.
At any rate I am definitely NOT discounting OM. Its just an interesting event.
I'm conflicted about Halloween. I want to go as a family and trick or treat with my son because this is probably the last year for that. However I really have no desire to be near her and I know she's not excited to be with me.
From the LRT it would be best if I didn't but its my sons last or next to last Halloween trick or treating.
So then take control of it. Tell her what time you plan to take him, and tell her you are welcome to join if you would like. You can even tell her you would prefer to do it alone if you want. You do not need her permission for these things anymore.
EXACTLY!! This is not about you and her anymore right now. You need to look at everything as you and your son. If she has a problem with it, then you can take him by yourself, otherwise, she can buck up for the night and realize that it is about your son. I let my XW do it to me last year for a school party, I really regret not just going anyway. Pisses me off still now a year later.
I think as much as it sucks I am going to have to just not go. If I am there I am the scrooge to her ruining the fun.
I dunno I got to think on it.
As long as you act upbeat and have fun with your son and do not use that event to try to warm-up to your W, then have a great time. Be nice to her but don't treat her the way you would have in the past "as your W" and let her begin to see how things as a S/D couple will go. Just be nice as if she was one suppose to be a blind date--who turned out to be your cousin. You wouldn't romance your cousin or smother her with attention. You'd be getting back to your sone.
If she has a probalem with that, well then....that her problem, not yours. You will be seeing how often youwill face that same bridge.
After that you've been fun at the party, and has shown your son a wonderful time......if she hasd a problem with that
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Last night went great Went to the gym and kicked some butt, taught the kids class and in general had fun. There were a few times that I wanted to leave early but I fought it off and it paid big dividends for me emotionally.
Interestingly I came home @10 and found her wasing dishes and not ready to go to club. My wife normally goes to bed at 830 or 9 pm if shes staying home. So I was surprised but ignored it. She then started talking to me as I was getting food saying she was too tired to go out. I told her I was sorry to hear that and got my food.
She started chatting me up some and it was pretty cordial but I cut it off early. I did mention I had a bruise from getting kicked in the head. She said I have a bruise to ( in relation to the incident last week) I didn't say anything initially. Finished my food and then came back told her I was sorry about hurting her and then just left. No discussion afterwards I just walked out and I didn't bring up she was hitting/scratching me when it happened.
Obviously her being tired was not the case though. She stayed up till 4am in the morning, I got up at 330 to get some melatonin because I has having a hard time sleeping. I ignore her in the office, didnt even look or say hi just went to medicine cabinet and then she calles me in office. She was still up but this time in full club gear, she said she was going to meet some people at an after party but decided not to.
Again odd... obviously something was up. She looked upset like she had been crying.
So I check the phone records ( bad I KNOW!!! )
She hadn't talked to him in almost 48 hours then texted him last night. They had some back and forth then he sent her a long message. After that she started blowing him up texts every 10 minutes for hours. For the first hour he barely responded then they started having some back and forth but his were short responses after like 4 or 5 texts from her. I thought that was an interesting pattern and drew some hope from the evenings events on top of the rest of the days.
She decided to stay home today and sleep. lol.. Ms. Motivation
So who knows what all that means but its interesting none the less. Trying to set my daily goals right now..
Thanks for taking the time to read this and respond I really appreciate everyones help.
I see a lot of evidence that there's problems with the OM. Then I see that she's looking up divorce attorney info and divorce info.
What does that do for me?
Nothing... but I'm compelled to check. Its like looking at her stream of consciousness.. its just stuff in the moment.. it may mean something it may not..
Anyone have advice for helping to curb the compulsion?
You wouldn't romance your cousin or smother her with attention. You'd be getting back to your sone.
Went to the gym and kicked some butt, taught the kids class and in general had fun. There were a few times that I wanted to leave early but I fought it off and it paid big dividends for me emotionally.