Validation: Cheat Sheet

[claire7]

Thanks Wonka. This was helpful. I typically say things like, maybe she is just tired... and that is different than asking him an open ended question.

[Wonka]

^^^ bump time

MODERATORS: Can we have this particular topic as a stand-alone thread right under Sandi's in the Newcomers' resource section? This way, people can click it any time for a quick reference instead of wading through Sandi's threads to get to this link.

Thanks much! (there's a bunch of pizza boxes coming your way as my token of appreciation)

[rayzzz]

I like pizza. Thanks for the take away anyways...this validation sheet is such a great weapon of love to use in our daily db skirmishes. Thanks Wonka and next time, no anchovies! lol

[Eatsma]

I need to read this whole thread, but I thought of this last night as H was going through script:

"My car doesn't work, my body doesn't work...."

My first response was not appropriate, "But I see...."

and then I remembered this and said, "It must feel frustrating to feel like everything around you is breaking down."

Gotta practice!

[Wonka]

Bearing down right at ya in my neon-pink bumper car...watch out!!!

[mindsin]

Holy moly! Thank you Wonka for bumping this thread. I'm having dinner with my WAW tonight and absolutely needed these tips!!!

[Old Dog]

Bearing down right at ya in my neon-pink bumper car...watch out!!!

Oh my!

[JCred]

"I am sorry that you feel that way"

Please be careful using this phrase. I have seen many people get offended when hearing this. It can come off as sounding like you just read a book on how to validate. It can come across like you still think you are right and they are wrong in what they feel.

Remember.. Michelle says the medium is the message.

[NewB3]

This list is very helpful after you've done the 180's for a while. W a W begins to talk more about her feelings and every day things. Just be careful to not use too many of these in conversation as you don't want to sound like you're simply reciting things from a textbook. That being said this is a fantastic list and should have a sticky on it in the newcomers area. I know it can be found elsewhere on this form, but it is really needed here.

[Wonka]

George Clooney is now a married man!

Good I have your attention....it's bump time.

Validate away to your hearts' content.