I will seek legal advice this week I guess. I am devastated. I do not want us to be in this place and i feel like I just need to talk to him tonight and maybe he will calm down and we can get on the same page as far as divorce and custody is concerned.
If I can catch him in an ok mood we can discuss things. Steve said I should 180 this thought and he is probably right. But I know if I do not express to him that I still want us to stick to not doing anything permanently, then he will probably file out of anger, if he hasnt already
Can you schedule "Free First time consulting" with the top 3 or 4 divorce attorneys tomorrow?
Someone suggested that H will not be able to retain any att you have spoken with. This keeps the best out of his hands, and options for you. (I do not know if that is true, but it sounds very likely to be true)...If I see a lawyer at lunch I will ask the question....
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Previously, H has been adamant that we can get divorce without lawyers. He says we just have to sign papers. I do not know if that is correct or what.
Yes I am a talker and a fixer. I always want to fix things to be ok. And he is completely okay with things being on bad terms sometimes, I am absolutely the opposite.
I will try to 180 these but man it is HARD. This has felt like the longest day in history. I will be seeing him in about 4 and a half hours and if he walks in the door with papers I can already feel my heart drop.
Previously, H has been adamant that we can get divorce without lawyers. He says we just have to sign papers. I do not know if that is correct or what.
Yes you can. Get as much legal advise beforehand. DO NOT RUSH TO SIGN. Some take months. There can be many revisions. You can also get a mediator. (We can discuss details later)
I know you do not want to hear this, but it would be best if YOU DREW UP THE DIVORCE PAPERS.
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Yes I am a talker and a fixer. I always want to fix things to be ok. And he is completely okay with things being on bad terms sometimes, I am absolutely the opposite. I will try to 180 these but man it is HARD.
The harder it feels, typically means it is the correct thing to do.
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This has felt like the longest day in history.
I am sorry you are going through this. I would never wish this on my worse enemy. Things will get better. I assure you. When things get tough, focus on getting through a smaller time period. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time.
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I will be seeing him in about 4 and a half hours and if he walks in the door with papers I can already feel my heart drop.
PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS MAN BACK IN THE HOUSE. Have D and baby things ready to go. Get dress up smoking hot. Walk out on front porch. Do the exchange. Take paperwork if he has it. Do not read it at that point. Lock the door, Get in your car and drive away.
Read the paperwork TOMORROW.
Go to a coffee shop and sit an relax (I know that will be hard as blank)
You can do this.
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
He doesnt have his own place so I believe our house is the only place he can stay with the baby. I offered to drop her off to him at a friends house or something but he said he has nowhere to go with her.
"You are right. This is not working for me either."
Use it when required.
I like this, so even though I do not feel that way I should say it? The current sitch was not working for me, but normally I would probably say something like we can figure this out together, etc.
