The last 3 years has been a personal hell living in a constant state of uncertainty. For 2 and a half my W stood by me as I thought we could navigate our lives through it and the move onward and upward. Sadly she elected to pull the eject button.
I have made gigantic strides the last 6 months in becoming a better man, father, person....and husband. I’ve been able to overcome and learn to control my anxiety and depression. I’ve lost 80lbs and established healthy eating habits, gained my self confidence and respect back, have learned to be outcome independent and self reliant. Today literally feels as it’s the first true day of my new life...
I haven’t informed WAW of the news of my case. I will let that come from her counsel. I don’t know what the future may hold with my relationship with w....or if I would even entertain R. All I know is that I now have full control over my life, and DB has been instrumental in getting me to a point where I am centered and know I can face whatever life throws at me. I do believe that I need to allow D to be complete....and fully free W to get thru her journey on her own terms. I will continue to up my efforts in DB’ing.
I will continue to post my journey here and make a better effort to post on others sitch.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Now 2 days since I got one of life’s “pivot events” that has changed my entire outlook of what my life looks like moving forward. I do believe that god works in mysterious ways thru people, and I’ve had a few interactions with friends and acquaintances that seem to be trending in a positive direction.
I’ve had 2 headhunters reach out on some intriguing job opportunities which I wouldn’t have considered 3 days ago. I plan to put myself out there and give them my due diligence as it could elevate my career into a Sr level role with a multi b organization in my field.
Met with IC today and she said my demeanor was the calmest and most relaxed she’s ever seen me in 2 and a half years. Realizing the weight that has been lifted out from under me I have this serenity I’ve not felt in a LONG time. She firmly believes W was anticipating another outcome with case dismissal that would have allowed her to make a play at potentially getting full custody of s. No more.
Not sure or care if WAW has heard my news, just assume so as some of my friends are aware who’s wife’s are close with w. Interesting fact is everyone that I’ve told....1st thing they say is how much they would pay to see W expression when she hears about it. I just say I can only focus on my journey and path, she can go in hers. Reality will finally set in that she is forgoing half of S’s childhood now. Could be the first truely “pain” event for W since BD that could cause her to get out of the clouds. W still is grasping to have any semblance of control over me...whereas she now has none.
GAL activities today include gym, taking dog to park, attending an anniversary dinner with friends.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
Thank you for the kind words! I will read up on your sitch...I’m sure you can do great. DB’ing has really helped to get me to a positive place which was terribly dark just recently as a month ago.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
GAL activities today: 1. 4 mile run 2. Met up with female friend that’s been thru divorce...did a trail walk in park, talked D process, etc. 3. Went to gym to lift 4. Attended meetup group. Met some new folks. 5. Chiefs-Cinci game
WAW attempted to come over again by leveraging S...shut it down.
Looking forward to upcoming week.
Feeling the most confident I’ve been in 3 years.
Last edited by EZdozit; 10/22/1812:13 AM.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
So since my 180 of my request to attorney to get D finalized, it’s been deathly silent from her counsel. I met with attorney this morning to review proposal to bring D decree to a close. I also advised A to inform WAW counsel about my other situation where case was thrown out. Lawyer was in agreement that W and her attorney were anticipating other outcome in which she would have been able to make a play at full custody. He then asked if W were to reach out to me and see about R what would I do....I honestly can’t answer that now. I have fully let W go and I’m content with the man I’ve become. My continued growth and active DB’ing has given me full confidence that I’m going to thrive moving forward. And if a possibility of R were to present itself.....one of the things I want that W couldn’t give me is more kids. She lost that due to her playing roulette with her body one too many times. One of the things S wants more than anything is to have a sibling...and moving on with someone else could give me and him that opportunity.
As it’s been said often on these boards, it’s amazing that by time if a WAW starts to come back to the MR...the LBS is the one that is done. That’s where I feel I am today.
I truly now feel as if the tables have turned and everything in my life is on the up and up. W on other hand is stuck in her resentment, her actions, and choices that now make her to appear very selfish, spoiled, & bratty. Or just a plain A$$Hole. Definitely not someone who deserves a chance with me.
GAL activities today include 6 mike run, lunch with an old friend, divorcecare group, and bike ride with S after school.
Last edited by EZdozit; 10/23/1807:55 PM.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
So a day after meeting with my attorney to put a plan in motion to finalize divorce, WAW attorney subpoenas my former employer for my employment records. It has gone from wackado land to banana land...I guess they are now going to attempt to present me in a negative light and will try and use anything to throw at a wall. I will stay above the fray and let my attorney handle.
It’s very clear WAW was banking on getting full custody of S....and now that is essentially an impossibility. She got shoddy legal advice and now her attorney is trying to save face....while also milking her for as much $$ as she can. W choices and actions now are solidifying herself as pure evil. Any thoughts about R are done with....I let her out of the cage and now she’s flailing. She is someone who had full intentions to take my S away from me. That is how I will view her. Her WW/MLC behavior is coming out on full display now that she’s not getting her way in essentially everything. She has also put S in the middle and continues to use him to serve her wants. Documenting all of it in case D now goes to trial.
While is frustrating that it appears W intends to drag D process out, I realize I’m truly detached. Yes I was a bit surprised to hear news about the subpoena, but after about 10 minutes I had moved on to other thoughts and GAL activities for evening.
I do know that I definitely need to keep my guard up and will be very hesitant to have any communication with W that isn’t traceable. All fact of the matter until everything is done. I’ll continue DB’ing my A$$ off, maintain my humility, gratitude, empathy, and faith.
Ready to get the next chapter started...ready to start seeking the next Mrs. Ez...ready at a chance to grow my family in the next few years.
As in NMMNG....my mantra is no matter what life throws at me, I’ll handle it.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
