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ItHurts Offline OP
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ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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Hi ItHurts, it seems you handled the situation well. You followed your ex-wife's signals and responded accordingly. You never expected this to happen after four years and you don't know what circumstances will be like in another four, eight, or twelve years so perhaps thinking long-term you can keep your options open. It sounds like your ex-wife said she's open to starting over but gave many signs that she wants to take it slow. Perhaps getting romantic too quickly was too much for her. It'll be interesting to hear your update after you speak with her again!

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ItHurts Offline OP
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Hi there Nicole,
Well I'm pretty sure I know what she's going to say...seems kind of obvious to me really. I'm just prepping my reply at this point to best make it crystal clear to her that R is all I'm interested in as far as her being in my life. If not then I just walk and don't look back. At least I'll be leaving the door open still...just nowhere near as wide as it's been opened for her. She can go back to dating all the wonderful men she's told me about thus far LOL! Hasta levista baby! I'm nobody's fool. So we'll see Nicole. I have no idea why she just vanished from that text like that. Something is going on, I've sensed that since she showed up at my work two weeks ago to get me to see the movie with her. There's just something going on with her, I can sense it so, so strongly like never before. Time will tell as always but I think this "talk" is going to finally be the end to my WAW saga after all these years. That's what I'm predicting.

Last edited by ItHurts; 10/23/18 04:50 AM.

ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
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I know where you stand IH but I don´t get why are you pushing so hard now. Too much expectations triggered with the last two weeks developments?...I know man, I know you have travelled a long road...do you have any patience left? Imho you´ll need some more here.


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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Posts: 736
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Hi neffer,
Well yes I have to admit my patience is gone with her. I guess I'm pushing so hard with her because I feel like she's had plenty of time to figure this out. She first contacted me in like March, 6 months ago now. Yet there had been absolutely no progression whatsoever with her. Had I seen at some semblance of us progressing perhaps I'd be a bit more patient but I'm starting to feel like I'm in an endless rinse and repeat cycle with her now. So I don't really see what having more patience will accomplish here. Unless you're seeing something I'm missing.
Why do you suggest more patience?


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
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Because we all have hope and expectatives for everybody here IH. And they both go better with patience...


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Well my patience will really depend on what she has to say with this talk about "our friendship."
How could I possibly have more patience with her if she comes out and says she does not think R is on the horizon nor does she want it? That leaves me no wiggle room for patience. Every time I've brought up R her reply is usually "Okay well let's just sit on this for awhile." What in hell does that really mean? This is what I've got to get to the bottom of once and for all when we have this talk.

Last edited by ItHurts; 10/23/18 06:08 PM.

ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 330
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If i may butt in here, id guess patience would be needed if she truly wsnts R, but is genuinely scared and playing it cautiously. If thats what she wants, she probably cant just jump right into MR and take off running.

I have no idea what runs through WS heads, but im just taking a shot in the dark.

Edit:i dont mean being patient while she figures oit what she wants, but rather proceeds with R as the objective.

Last edited by equalzr; 10/23/18 06:09 PM.

Together:20 years
M:3 years
Me:40
WW:40
S15
A suspected:5/17
AC:5/18
BD:8/18
WW in full blown R w/ OM
Still under same roof
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Well equal,
As I said above (you and I posted at the same time) it all stems from what she really means when she says "Let's just sit on this for awhile." That's the core issue here that needs clarification.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,136
Likes: 19
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Yep, you need to have the talk first...


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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