Wife in MLC, I think

[Ready2Change]

Another attempt to isolate and anger me.

Did you order the book that I recommended? It will help you deal with the hate campaign.

[LB55]

Another attempt to isolate and anger me.

Did you order the book that I recommended? It will help you deal with the hate campaign.

I have not had the opportunity to research it yet since the rules prevent from just stating the name of the book.

[Ready2Change]

I have not had the opportunity to research it yet since the rules prevent from just stating the name of the book.

I posted the link before I found out about the rule.


Anyways, it might be good for you to read a little on my thread. It may give you some new ideas for your sitch.
My Sitch

[LB55]

R2C,

thanks for the link. That's one heck of a reading list. I will work my way through your sitch in the next few days as I have time to read it.

Reading through the summary it sounds like a similar situation in a lot of ways.

[Ready2Change]

That was 10 years ago. Hopefully the second post helped you.

[LB55]

I saw it was 10 years ago...still applicable and your story is still an inspiration to many on this board, me included. I find that reading them backwards helps me see the cause of things that happened in the future much more clearly.

I saved the book list and will pick a few and get started. Thanks!

I will need to work on boundary setting with W, validation, and doing what is best for the kids. Can't let her keep driving this wedge between us. I have always had issue with telling people no, but not nearly to the degree I do with W. I ALWAYS yield to her. I am starting to recognize this which is the first step I suppose. Telling her I won't be moving into the rental home and that she wont be seeing my paycheck anymore is a start. Even if I have to do it via L because she will cry to the police that I am in violation of my restraining order by contacting her directly. It is still doing what I want to vice what she wants me to. Small steps.

[Ready2Change]

I will need to work on boundary setting with W, validation,

I am sure you have seen this, but memorize:

When you . . . . .
I feel . . . . .

I want . .
If you ......
I will.....

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2815739#Post2815739


One of my first boundaries with my X was primary communication via Email.

This is my boundary:

When you make agreements and then change your mind and lie and rewrite history,

I feel I can no longer trust you.

I want to keep all of our communications via Email so that we have a written record of our agreements and I can review previous conversations and take my time to respond so that we reduce any confusion

If you try to speak with me about anything this is not critically urgent,

I will not engage in the conversation and send you an text/email to refresh your memory.

This is the short version:

Please Email me your thoughts (or concerns) (or the details) and I will look it over.

If I send important emails.
H:Text "W, I send you an Email"

[LB55]

Thanks R2C, that is good stuff. Once I get this restraining order lifted this will be my guide for comms with W.

[LB55]

Link to my new thread, getting close to 100 posts here.

LB55 Thread Number 2