Because empathy means you see the other person's emotions and feel them too - you see them as a human that you can relate to. You see THEM. Not you.
Do you know any older adults who recently had cataract surgery? They say they can see better after the surgery than when they were 20.
BD was like that for me. In the span of 2 weeks I saw so much. Things I did wrong, things I could have done better, blah blah.
I spent all of the time after that frantically trying to hold onto W so that she could really BELIEVE me that I REALLY was getting it and that I WANTED to change, for real.
It means that all the OTHER times I said, "Yes, dear, I'm sorry, I'll try to do better" were only half-hearted. And she was right when she said that it's pretty bad when "that" is what it takes to open your eyes. Too little, too late. WW script. But also true.
So here I am. I'm working on it. And it hurts so much to think that it doesn't matter. That I'll be such a better person but she'll still have given up. I can't make her love me, I can't make her come back. It's just a shame, to think of what COULD have been.
I don't know, something like that I guess.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
