Whirlwind of Hurt 6

[Twofeet]

Again et al.,

She text me again this morning. She has to go into the city for work Wednesday and wants to know if it's okay for her to sign the decree to be submitted to the judge. We were currently waiting to hear back from our cpa to make sure the tax and finance piece of the decree looked okay. Now I can understand her seeing this a legitimate need to reach out. However, as I said yesterday it seems like she has been initiating all the contact. There is always something she needs to bring up. I want to let her go and I NEED to let her go, but it always feels like its something with her.

I am busy with the kids this morning so when I have time today I will respond to her text from last night and this morning.

[LH19]

TF,

When the holidays are done and the divorce is final you have to make it crystal clear to your W that unless it involves the kids to please not contact you. If she asks why, just tell her that you need to heal and move on with your life. Also, make it clear one time that you have no desire to be friends with her.

Then you must stick to your boundaries. If she asks how you are, she gets no response. If she asks how to hook up the internet, she gets no response.

Down the road when/if you no longer are interested in recon you can entertain establishing a friendship with her.

[Twofeet]

LH19,

If there is never a chance for recon or I don't want one down the road, there will never be a friendship. A romantic relationship or a coparent relationship only.

[LH19]

TF,

You do not know what the future holds my friend. As we all know by finding this board, feelings change over time.

[Twofeet]

LH,

Well then for now all I can continue to do is to hope and pray for a recon and move forward with my life and act as if.

[burned]

Hey TF,

I’ve been following along but I didn’t really have much to add until I thought about you and your sitch.

Seems like the Ws who file fast are the ones who change their minds fast. That makes me hopeful for you.

I also find a strange kind of hope in the fact that your W, wayward as she may be, had the integrity to file and leave before starting physical A. That, to me, suggests that she still has some respect for you and the M. Not enough to stop the train, but enough that when the train runs out of coal she will still consider you a member of the same species. Contrast that to some of us here whose Ws led double lives for months or years. I mean, that’s the kind of betrayal that represents hostility and disrespect of the worst kind.

So, for whatever that’s worth to you, from an outsider’s perspective it shows me that your W isn’t as crazy as you might feel she is. Just scared, hurt, trying to do the right thing in a situation that is wrong no matter how you cut it.

Stay strong. Keep the faith.

[Phoenix9]

Well then for now all I can continue to do is to hope and pray for a recon and move forward with my life and act as if.

TF, I am not sure who posted this but they posted a quote about God not waving a magic wand and have things become instantly better. God instead hands you a trowel for you to dig yourself out, one small scoop at a time.

I stopped praying for WW to come back to our lives and am now grateful for being by my side and helping me make the progress I am making as well as asking for him to continue to guide me and have me come out being the following persons:

- A better man
- A better father
- A better brother
- A better friend
- A better employee
- A better boyfriend
- A better husband

For my WW, I just ask that she finds peace and happiness.

Pray for strength. Pray for relief. Pray for an end to this.

[LH19]

I agree with burned. I think your W does have respect for you because you for the most part show strength. The ones I really worry about are the ones were the WW talk about their APs with like there is nothing wrong with it. That shows lack of respect.

Also, TF there is no acting as if. Trust me she will know. Until she truly feels she may lose you forever, she will not change her stance.

[Ready2Change]

there is no acting as if. Trust me she will know. Until she truly feels she may lose you forever, she will not change her stance.

She NEEDS to FEEL she HAS lost you. The sooner the better.

[Twofeet]

W text me a screenshot from her FB of the kids school FB of me and S3 during a Christmas event I attended. I don't know why but it got my heart pumping and my adrenaline running. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I don't think I should respond. Is she just fishing for pursuit?

I have to do a face to face handoff today, not looking forward to it.