LB, my only advice is to pick your battles. These things can get really ugly, really quickly. I am not suggesting your roll over and let her walk all over you, but look for opportunities to take the high-road. Likely you will not get her to negotiate nor see the kids if you are dug in like an Alabama tick and not willing to give an inch.
LB, remind me why she gets full custody and you don't get to see the kids. What does your L say about that?
Last edited by Cadet; 03/06/1901:25 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
LB, remind me why she gets full custody and you don't get to see the kids. What does your L say about that?
She filed for divorce while I was gone with the military. Got a restraining order served to me when I came home for Christmas. Basis of the restraining order was that I was irresponsible, excessively angry, an alcoholic, and abusive to her, the kids, and all the kids on my little league team I coached in 2017.
I voluntarily went to alcohol dependency screenings and was found to be not dependent nor needing any sort of treatment. I also sought IC but the judge didn't like the way his letter was written so he discounted my efforts to seek help as useless.
The judge found no basis for the restraining order nor the allegations, however he said that I am not allowed to disturb her peace or have reason to go to the house unless to pick up the kids per the arranged schedule.
He said that I can see the kids every other weekend from 10-5 until I have satisfactory sleeping arrangements for the kids. I have a place now and am working on buying beds and stuff for the kids. He also said that we could work together and modify the hours as needed and he would be fine with a mid week visit. That is where I have contention, she won't work with me at all, says he never said those things, its best for the kids to not spend extra time with me, etc.
The financial end of things is grossly one sided, and since the temp orders become the framework of the final decree, I cannot just settle now for her receiving over $100K a year of income while having no job, while I work 60 hours a week for the leftover $32K. Its a battle I have to fight, and it is likely to be a war of attrition.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
Please start a new thread and link both threads together.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Man LB, I just want to offer some support. I seriously want to puke every time I read the custody, child support, and alimony number you're throwing out there.
I've gotten stuff from goodwill too. It's not bad at all!
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
