Midlife wife crisis5

[Ready2Change]

When she says she can’t sleep, I would say that’s because you miss me in bed.

I'm stealing that line.

I found indirect works well.

W:"bla bla I can't sleep" bla bla
H:"I have a solution for that"
W:"Really?" What?"
H:"My secret"

R2C I do have 2 women pursuing me. They have been pretty forward. These women give off a very strong sexual vibe.... the girls who was 20 was hitting on me. ...some women pursuing me lately and getting hit on my confidence has really gone up.

Perfect. This makes it easier.

she keeps texting me about the kids. How are they? What are they doing? How’s the weather over there? I keep all my answers brief and to the point. I also don’t respond to the texts right away.

H"W, the kids are doing great. Don't worry, I will text you if there are any issues. Enjoy your day."

I have a lot of skills in the bedroom. That has never been a compliant on her part.

Perfect. I continually have to learn "new tricks" to keep things exciting. My goal is to surprise her. Almost every discussion includes "You haven't seen anything yet"

[AnotherStander]

Wolf, that all sounds great, keep it up!

She thanked me for taking the kids to the city. I said you don’t have to thank me, those are my kids too.

Here's an alpha thing to practice- just say "you're welcome" when people thank you for something. It may sound minor, but it makes a favorable impression on others compared to someone who is always refusing thank you's and trying to explain why they're not needed.

[Ready2Change]

Here's an alpha thing to practice- just say "you're welcome" when people thank you for something.

This works well in bed. Don't be a beta in bed and thank the lady, but when she thanks you, "your welcome" with a smile works wonders.

[LH19]

W,

I'm sorry I don't remember. Is there a confirmed OM?

Thx.

[AnotherStander]

Here's an alpha thing to practice- just say "you're welcome" when people thank you for something.

This works well in bed. Don't be a beta in bed and thank the lady, but when she thanks you, "your welcome" with a smile works wonders.

Yes! If I had a dime for every time....

[Wolfman]

Thanks guys for the vote of confidence. I am really trying. LH as far as I know there is no one else. I had her followed a few times in the past and there was no one. She was just out with her girls friends. That was 3 weeks ago, obviously it could have changed. LH you had said a few posts ago you think she is friend zoning me. I think you are right. What do I do other than the flirty humor? That’s the only thing about DB that gets me nervous is always giving her space, I feel that’s exactly what I am doing is creating more space between us. Other than the other night I felt a small smidge or something, I just get a cold vibe. I am still have problems with my d. She just wants to be with my w. It’s actually always been that way, she has an unhealthy obsession with her. My w and I had a brief conversation about my d. How she is distant from me and very cold. My w said you can’t give up on her, I said I get it it’s jsut hard when you keep giving and get nothing in return. She said I know the feeling and made a face, implying her. I said if your felt that way I am sorry I made you feel that way. She said what do you think you can do to make it better? I said right now I don’t know, I am constantly trying to spend time with her, constantly asking her if she wants to play something, she is 11. My w said she will try and think of something and then she went into the kitchen. I do t know why my w has to take digs at me. Especially when it’s not true. I bet that’s how she feels but man her sense of reality is so distorted. I know that’s all part of the WAS mentality.

[IHCLACS]

Heh! distorted reality is the name of the WAS game. I could give you literally 100 examples in my case. Hence why I keep screaming HIPOCRACY!!! Just let them go and validate. Men will have much different outlooks on dynamics, division of labor, responsibilities, how an SO should act, what their wants and needs are. Honestly I'm a point where I don't even want to waste my focus, energy, and time in analysing it anymore. I got $hit to get done!!!

[LH19]

W,

You're still operating under what is known as the "illusion of action" where you feel you have to do something to make her change her mind. It doesn't work that way.

Remember back when I told you told you to ask her not to text you unless it involved the kids and you ignored my suggestion. This was to help you detach and stay out of the friend zone. You have to make it clear that you are her lover not her friend.

Wolf your number one and only priority should be repairing the relationship with with your daughter. Your statement about giving to your daughter and getting nothing in return is really concerning to me.

Get her into IC if you have to moving forward.

[IHCLACS]

Could anyone ever imagine a world where relationship dynamics and people are just simple and clear cut?... "Do you love me? Yes! Do you love me? No... Um well? I'm not so sure? ...No. But as a friend.. Ok...Goodbye! Nice knowing you.....lol..... (Life is too short to put yours on hold.)

[Wolfman]

IH I guess you are having a hard time with your situation too. My w’s view on everything is so distorted. She is he one who wants this and I hear her complaining how the house is a mess and no one helps her to clean up. She forgets when I lived there I did it all the time. Now she has to do it and complains. She never realized all the little things I did in the house. I guess little by little she will learn. Like the landscaping, lawn is out of control, weeds growing everywhere. It’s not my problem anymore.
LH I have working on my relationship with my d and when I say I get nothing in return it’s just how she treats me compared to my w. She shows my w a lot of love and if I died in front of her she wouldn’t care. She does it as a manipulation tactic to show my w she is on her side. Like see I hate daddy mom I am on your side. It just hurts a lot. To show someone love all the time and her just ignore me is horrible. It’s hard enough to go through his with my w but to go through this with my d too. The minute she is away from my w she is texting her. My d never texts me anything. Yet my son is so loving and caring. Not being with my kids all the time is what is taking a toll on me too.
As far as the whole friend zone thing. What else should or can I do? I get the whole texting thing. I am happy dressed nice all the time, acting “as if” everything is fine. I am sorry the one thing I never had was patience. I know that is a big part of this. I have also been separated for 9 months and it is wearing on me. Granted I have only been DB for about 2 months. This is why I come here for everyone’s help. I wish when my situation is “done” either d or back together I could take each and everyone one of you out for a drink: lol I look forward to everyone’s comments. Thanks!!!