Another stander. I just saw your post. Telling my mom that anything is wrong with my M word be terrible. She will not listen to me. She would just destroy my M for me.
In that case just stop at "Butt out".
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I’m just upset because it’s going to force an anniversary convo between W and I.
No it won't. Tell your W to disregard it. Period. Quit making excuses.
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And I was planning on just a quaint “happy anniversary “ the morning of then off to work then play that evening by ear.
Why would you do that Oz?
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My mom will ask why and then she will pry and then pry some more then she will tell me I am a bad son and remind me of how great a mother she was and then tell me how her kids are awful to her. Then when she hangs up with me she will start blowing up Ws phone and asking questions and prying for info from her and wanting to know how our M is and going crazy on my W
I'm starting to see a pattern here. Your W has no respect for you. Your mom has no respect for you. Hell Oz, I'm having a lot of trouble respecting you. Because you refuse to listen to anything we tell you and man up. You constantly play the victim card and wallow in self-pity. You want respect? EARN IT. How do you do that? We've already told you. Now QUIT MAKING EXCUSES.
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She will also tell us happy anniversary about 600 more times and then the morning after our anniversary call us and msg us and want to know what we did and how proud she is of our M and how we are such a good couple and a bunch of really mushy marriage stuff.
No respect.
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It’s like she will put on tons of pressure on W all by herself weather I like it or not
No respect.
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And if I tell her my M is struggling...... Katie bar the door. She would call and msg my W prolly 20 times a day and try to fix our M for us.
No respect.
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Another stander. I just saw your post. Telling my mom that anything is wrong with my M word be terrible. She will not listen to me. She would just destroy my M for me.
Another stander. I just saw your post. Telling my mom that anything is wrong with my M word be terrible. She will not listen to me. She would just destroy my M for me.
I’m just upset because it’s going to force an anniversary convo between W and I.
Really? "I'll text m y mom. ::eye rolls:: I don't think either of us wants a visit!" That should only lead to an "anniversary conversation" if your wife wants to have an anniversary conversation.
Originally Posted by ozman
My mom will ask why and then she will pry and then pry some more then she will tell me I am a bad son and remind me of how great a mother she was and then tell me how her kids are awful to her. Then when she hangs up..She will also tell us happy anniversary about 600 more times and then the morning after our anniversary call us and msg us and want to know what we did and how proud she is of our M and how we are such a good couple and a bunch of really mushy marriage stuff.
So, you have boundary issues with my mom. I used to have that same problem!!
This is a great area for a 180! Instead of calling her, reply in whatever format she sent the message (e-mail, text). There's a "Hide Alerts" button on most phones so her messages don't trigger rings, beeps, vibrations, or notifications and you can review them at your convenience.
At a later date, consider being clear about how much communication you'll accept from mom. I told my mom to only e-mail unless there was an emergency--she didn't listen, so block. She FB messaged me--unfriend. Now she only e-mails, like I asked her to do originally.
Originally Posted by ozman
she will start blowing up Ws phone and asking questions and prying for info from her and wanting to know how our M is and going crazy on my W. It’s like she will put on tons of pressure on W all by herself weather I like it or not. She would call and msg my W prolly 20 times a day and try to fix our M for us.
Your wife will either block her or engage--you don't control your wife. If she asks for help, you can show her the "Hide Alerts" button so she's not getting bombarded either.
When you do not take the advise we give you to make changes to your behavior, we feel extremely frustrated. If you continue to ignore the stellar advise we are offering and do what you feel like, we will stop posting to your thread and go spend our time helping other posters that do make the required changes.
See how easy it is for me to set my boundary. Start setting your boundaries. Be completely ready to enforce.
Do this with your mother.
When you BLA BLA BLA BLA, I feel BLA BLA If you Bla bla bla I will Bla bla bla
