I’m feeling emotional right now. Maybe cause I drank too much. I miss my W. But I realize I’m worth having. I’m Worth being loved. I didn’t realize the toll bd takes on your ego. I touched her a bit at show. I put my hand in her back. I grabbed her hand once to lead her around. She didn’t reciprocate but she didn’t pull away either. She was chatty on the way home. She didn’t act bothered by anything I did.
I’ve just had a bit to drink and m venting
I miss her. But I want to let her go at the same time. Sometimes I feel Like it’s all too much. Then I feel strong and like nothing could slow me down. I’ve made a lot of progress. Then sometimes it feels like very little. But more than anything I miss her. She isn’t perfect. We were imperfect together. We filled each other’s gaps I’m sitting on my front porch. Listening to the rain. And my ears are ringing like crazy from the show
I didn’t have expectations. I’m not spiraling. I guess I’m just feeling the pain right now. I’ve done such a good job lately of GAL and detaching. But at this moment. It’s just a bit much. Concerts are our thing. I just miss her damnit
I’m sorry for this rant. But I know if al the people in the world you guys get it. We didn’t have a bad evening. It went just fine. It just wasn’t great. This is just me having a moment I guess
Steve they played Pantera’s old song respect. Singer started crying over loss of Vinnie Paul It was a very good show
She isn’t perfect. We were imperfect together. We filled each other’s gaps
Ozman, imagine becoming so powerful, you don't need a partner to fill your gaps. You're getting there. Glad there were was some progress and it was a good night. Sorry it wasn't a great night.
Hang in there oz. We all have days where we feel sad and start thinking about how tough things are. Just remember that as time goes on, the moments of sadness will decrease. Just think about how much better you feel in general now compared to around BD. Tomorrow will be a better day! Make it so.
I didn’t have expectations. I’m not spiraling. I guess I’m just feeling the pain right now. I’ve done such a good job lately of GAL and detaching. But at this moment. It’s just a bit much. Concerts are our thing. I just miss her damnit
I’m sorry for this rant. But I know if al the people in the world you guys get it. We didn’t have a bad evening. It went just fine. It just wasn’t great. This is just me having a moment I guess
Steve they played Pantera’s old song respect. Singer started crying over loss of Vinnie Paul It was a very good show
Love Pantera, man!
I feel you Oz - concerts were W and my thing too. At least W went with you. My W will not speak to me or ride in the same car anymore - she says she doesn't want to give me hope.
Try to see the positive in that you both went together and you had a great time. That's a win in any column
Concert was awesome!!! ....she didn’t pull away either. She was chatty on the way home. She didn’t act bothered by anything I did.
I believe this is a good sign. Keep your positive changes going.
Can you re-frame your experience for me? IE how do you feel about your behavior.
That is a good question.
You say you feel like superhuman right now. You have to be careful that these endorphins aren’t only because they are yielding positive responses from your W. It needs to be because you feel so good about yourself right now. And if your W was yo stop with the positive response, you would still feel awesome because the changes you are making are for you
It needs to be because you feel so good about yourself right now. And if your W was yo stop with the positive response, you would still feel awesome because the changes you are making are for you
And to add to this. You should still feel awesome even if you W decided to make out with some guy at the show.
Her behavior should not affect how you feel. It might affect how you respond.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I know the feeling Oz. There are times when I feel like I am detaching pretty well than times I miss her so much. Just like today, we met up for lunch and talked about our D school clothing, supplies, pick up, drop off. etc. That's when I realize I still do really miss her so much but know she isn't the same person anymore.
Its definitely going to take time. No need to apologize, better to let us know than keeping it to yourself. There are so many great people in here that understands what we are going through and gives great insight and advice. My parents been together foreverrrrr - and all they tell me is why you still thinking about her when she cheated on you? I tell her it's not that easy to just forget but they are so old school, they don't understand where I am at. That is why I come on and vent, ask questions, & journal here.
There was a quote I ran across today, I forgot where I saw it but it states "Your taste in people will change when you learn to love yourself." So many thoughts ran through my head but in the end what comes to mind is working on myself to become a better, confident person no matter what the future brings. And from what I can tell, you are doing a great job at it.
