T-mom, I hope you are doing alright. Sorry to hear this - and I hate that feeling of "I've got this information, now what do I do with it."
I know that there have only been 2 outcomes from my snooping - either I find nothing and feel like she hid whatever I was looking for better. Or, I find something and am completely heartbroken AGAIN. I understand the desire to find out as much as possible, but once you know it, then what? I am in the place now that I do not have any desire to find out more than what I know, I know what's going on, she knows I know what's going on. Now we have to deal with it.
It's a bit of relief actually to not want to know more. (At this point)
Take care!
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
Thanks, u-turn. I get it. When I'm in a good head-set, I can prevent my "quest for knowledge", but when I'm feeling down.... well... that's another story. I could so easily be the crazy wife that snaps and goes to confront these dumb girls that are violating the sisterhood code with a married man. I want to tell them that they are they sex that he hasn't been able to work out with his wife of 19 years that has intimacy problems because of childhood sexual abuse. I almost feel like I could convince anybody of the fact that giving him the time of day is a mistake. But.... the other part of me says that I am trying to control his life, and that he would still want to pursue others, and that's not the marriage I want. The whole living in the same household, but feeling betrayed on a regular basis has been tough for me. The being nice to him while I feel.... truly, almost hatred at bad moments... this is remarkably difficult. I am back to work tomorrow, and that will give me some much needed distance.
I have been wondering how you have been, as well. Same crap, different day?
I really need to work on some concrete boundaries here that help me to deal and still don't do damage to any DBing efforts. WE are really living separate lives already, with a bit of hang out (smoking) time each day. I don't really do anything for him. Should I cut those times out? Any advice?
u... lol... just wrote you a quick note... it's been so tough.... well, YOU know how tough it is!!! Sometimes, I just can't even think about it all...because it is really too much.
I come on to see how some others (like you) are doing, and while my heart is breaking, my heart is also breaking for each and every one of us that is going through this.
I DO smile when I see that someone has asked how I am doing... how can you all be so cool, and these people that we are being rejected by be so callous?
