Jim0987 #7 - rebuilding but can't tell what it is

[Vanilla]

Hi,

Thanks for your comments. attached is the updated draft agreement.

for the sake of clarity:
- included in the settlement is £X000 is for D3 and S1 and this is to be returned to their savings.
- i'm happy to transfer all the debits from the joint across to my new account as soon as I can. We can leave the joint account with minimum balance.
- If you want to do a more phased move then I am comfortable, I want to make sure we complete any transactions completely within two months.
- I think we need to leave the contingency element.
- there is still quite a bit to agree with regard to furniture and contents but I am going to let you decide on the items you require

Please get back to me if you have any concerns

I'll tidy up the childcare agreement and get that accross to you.

Jim


Vanillas version. Don't discuss wills etc as that may tie you down. Plus it is not her concern, it is yours and L in any drafting.
V

[Mozza]

Vanilla nailed the writing style. To the point. Leave out the "I hope it's ok...", "I'd be more than happy...", "Let me know if it's not..." It goes without saying and it looks, well, pathetic. "I'm really trying to please you and I really hope you're not upset by anything I said otherwise I take it back immediately and change it to whatever you want!"

[jim0987]

Thanks all for the input on this.

I certainly dont think she will think i'm trying to please her.

[Sotto]

I think that reads great now. Strong, specific, confident, businesslike...good job!

Toots x