Buon Natale! I haven’t been around much. Things have been very hectic, but at least I’m able to walk and drive the last two weeks, which has been a big help. I’ve gotten to be pretty active in the message boards for our conversation group, so that is where I am spending a lot of my time.
H and I have also had a lot of social commitments come out of the group, which has been good for us. Last weekend we had dinner with some friends. The next day one of them dropped by to deliver something we had left at their house. Ironically, she stopped in as I was leaving with my SIL. My ILs think H and I are plugged into a vast social circuit. This is not true, but compared to them (who do not socialize or invite people over) H and I are the life of the party.
Of course they do invite us over, and that is where we are going for Christmas. They have been invited to my sister’s (the other one who hosts family get togethers) for Christmas eve, which makes me glad. They get along very well with my family… regardless of whatever ill-will my brother was recently trying to spread.
H is a little down about money and job hunting right now. I am confident that he’ll do well with his job hunt. Things are going pretty smoothly between the two of us. I’ll admit to having been a little lazy around the house again, but this past week I had a talk with H about the time he insists on having dinner… too early for me to get anything done. He’s grousing about eating later, which is silly because it’s the same time we used to eat before he moved home. Oh well, if this is the worst of our problems then we can’t be doing too bad.
Have a happy holiday everyone. Take care of yourselves. --z
Gee, I dropped off the map. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone who has stopped by. I've lurked, but never long enough to write anything.
Our Italian group has really ramped up, and I'm even running a beginner's study group once a week, in addition to my weekly class and near weekly conversation groups. Today, I have three meetings on various projects for the group.
I'm worried that H is feeling a little neglected, so I'm trying to be more attentive. It's hard, because we're both internet addicts so we spend too much time sitting back to back in the same room surfing in silence... like we are at this very minute.
I was very pleased yesterday when he burst into the bathroom as I was getting ready to take a shower because his back itched. When we first started hanging out again, I used to throw jealous fits every time he tried to use his back scratcher... now he comes to find me. How cute is that?!
He told me last night as we were going to sleep that he was concerned about how he spends so much time dwelling on all of the things that were screwed up or could go wrong. I tried to reassure him that some of that is normal feeling of being an adult. Then I asked him if I was one of those things, and he said "yes." I already knew that, so we chuckled about it for a moment, before he clarified that whenever he thinks about me that way, he realizes that I do more good than harm. I think that's a fairly normal way of looking at romantic relationships too, especially after the romance wears off and one is wondering if it's worth it. Apparently, I'm worth it.
Still can't seem to break the reluctance to have sex barrier. Can't get him to talk about it either. I tried last week and he got annoyed, evasive and argumentative.
For Christmas I got these neat little guns that shoot foam disks in quick succession at high velocity. They sting... Whenever H says something stupid, I grab my gun or tell him I'm going to grab my gun. We had a great shootout one night that ended in a stalemate and both of us cracking up.
On the whole I think things are going well. I probably need to refocus and assess where we are at sometime soon, so we don't slip into old habits. For now he loves me. I love him. That's what we've got to work with.
Hey Z---glad you updated. I know how easy it is to fall back into old habits. Treat the sex talk like you would have the R talk before H moved home...don't initiate!
I'm glad he finally realized your worth it...I hope my H will do the same someday!
I have adopted 65 children... or so it seems. The Italian group is going very well, but things have been hectic. H got ticked tonight because we have our first big educational event coming up and I'm having to spend time massaging egos and appreciating the different participants. I was not able to sit down and watch television with him. I knew it was going to be trouble when I came home, and sure enough he feels neglected. It doesn't matter that I took care of business and still sat for an hour with him. He started attacking the group, saying that it was stressing me out... etc. He's right that it is stressing me out, this moment, but I feel like I've just got a couple more weeks of this and then things will calm down. I'll be done with one of my Italian classes in three weeks. I'll be done with the second one in six weeks. By then hopefully the group will have a board structure in place; and I'll get to spend my time doing the parts I like PLUS stroking everyone's egos, which should be good for me anyway. Boy this sure does sound like a lot of "I hope" and not much "it will." Sigh. On the other hand, I have set aside entire days to spend with H and he wants to sit around the house like a lump... It's like I have to plan his social activities as well. Note to self: plan H's social activities, and see if that keeps him from moping around the house.
H does need to get out of this house. He has become obsessed with a trivia contest on television. I hope he wins or gets a job or both, because if none of those things happens he's going to hit bottom. And I know all too well what fun he is to live with then.
On the whole, I'm happy, but exhausted. Time for bed. Ciao tutti! --z
Hey Z---glad you updated. If H wants to sit around and mope don't let that ruin your day. Just tell him I really want to spend time with you today but I was hoping we could do XXX.
Sometimes it feels that we are moving forward in life and the Hs or Ws are remaining stagnant in their miserable little world...just remember all the positive changes you've made in you when H is being yuck!
Hey, Berto! I've been wondering about you lately. Good to hear you're still alive.
Had the funniest little argument with H the other day. He said something patronizing, as I was walking out the door to go to work. I stopped and said very calmly, "I guess I should tell you that that really hit me the wrong way." He asked, "Well, what way did you take it?" I said, "The patronizing way, but I'm going to forget about because I'm sure you didn't mean it that way." Silence... So I said, "... unless you did mean it that way. Well, I've gotta go. Love ya!" Then I left. A few hours later he sent me the absolute cutest e-card saying he appreciated how I love him even when he is being crabby. I called him and told him he'd scored big points. The card had these two crabs. One was sad. The other was tiptoeing around, arms in the air with a big smile. H said that the happy one looked exactly like me. How cute is that?!
I'm worried that H is feeling a little neglected, so I'm trying to be more attentive. It's hard, because we're both internet addicts so we spend too much time sitting back to back in the same room surfing in silence... like we are at this very minute.
Next time, write him a lil saucy story and send it to him VIA instant messanger, or email. If you are networked together, find a way to make it pop up on the screen (no pun intended).
When you do, make sure you have something on that is "sassy" that when peeled away, a nicer suprise is found. Be a tease Z.... You lady folk are good at that...
If your h has testosterone(sp) he will be puddy!!!
It's like I have to plan his social activities as well. Note to self: plan H's social activities, and see if that keeps him from moping around the house.