Sorry I disappeared again . Well my Lawyer talked to STBXH Lawyer and I think the outcome was she scared the sh*t out of my H. That very same day he sent the money.
Right now Im kinda stuck with this GAL thing. I'm starting to get bored with it all. I guess I shall consider myself lucky because Im young with no children and have no one to answer to except myself.
I get a little depressed when all my friends have children and/or are married. Alot of them say they wish they where in my postion. I'm trying to look at positives and sometimes it's down right hard.
I don't know it's seem's my mood changes day to day. Is this normal when going through this type of sitch. Im starting to extremely lonely?
They do this because they minimze the system and they just don't give a crap.
The minute you let go of the situation, forget about it, don't need the money... I will almost guarantee he pays up. I ended up relying on some 401K/retirement funds to see myself through in the mean time.
I've lived it. My ex quit an extremely well-paying managerial job to avoid his child support. Courts caught up to him, I got tired of the endless bs with the courts. Voila...wouldn't you know it, he got tired of the cat and mouse game himself. He even was threatened with jail time. I started getting regular payments...and he got a job.
He has/had a dim witted bimbo who told him he didn't need to pay child support. I got tired of riding his arse, and threw it over to the court system. Let the courts deal with him. Eventually they get tired of being hounded, their OWs will get tired of the games and diversions of what's going on. Let time work for you.
Yep your advice seems to be right on the spot. Ty for your support .
Update:
Well I have debated for the last week if I should post the new developments in my life. I have come to the conclusion it would be best to let everyone know what was going on. I think I'm going to need alot of support for the next 7 months.
Well as most of you know me and my STBXH have no children. We tried to get pregnant for about 3 years and under went infertiltity treatment.
Im sorry for I get to personal . But sometimes I dont have my monthly due to the infertiltiy problems. Well it has been almost 3 months since the last one. I feel fine and thought oh this is just normal. But in the back of my head I thought what the h*ll is going on?
So I thought you never know and decided to get tested for pregnancy and low and behold Im 11 weeks pregnant. Lets say I got a little hysterical and about had a nervous breakdown. Yes it is my H, everyone has been asking?
Well I called my Lawyer Monday and told her the lovely news. More great news from her, under state law I will not be granted a divorce until after the baby is born and we go to juvy court.
So my Est. due date is Oct. 29, no divorce for awhile. I'm very upset with sitch., I was looking forward to getting on with my life and getting rid of him. I don't want to sound mean, but I had one good thing going for me and that was no children with him. He is a aweful father to his D.
I need positives right now. I know children are the most precious gift in the world. But I ask myself why by him, anyone except him.
I will love this baby with unconditional love and never regret it. But why does STXH have to be the father. I guess God does work in mysterious ways, but I often wonder If he is playing a joke on me
Bet OW is going to love this!!! My lawyer is going to tell his lawyer next week. STXH is on vaca. with OW this week.
Any edvice or cheer me ups would be extremely welcomed
Jade, First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I know you'd prefer this baby have a different father, but that wasn't meant to be. Just don't let your H upset you for the next 6 mos if you can help it.
Honestly, my thinking is that H is going to get really, really ugly about this. He'll insist that it can't be his, yada yada yada!!! Just feel you need to prepare yourself. Stay calm, a blood test will verify that he is so don't let his idiocy get to you.
This child will be so precious to you regardless of who his/her father is.
Oh, BTW, my name is spelled "J-I-L-L" if you'd like to use it.
hey Jade... Wasn't sure if you were gonna post ur developments...but it's all good!
Congrats! From one mother to another...you will love and cherish this baby no matter who fathered it!! You will love pregnancy!! It's a feeling men can only dream of!
Well...start saving your checks from H cuz you'll need them for the little one! And don't let him get to u...although ur hormones will get the best of you too!!
And I agree with Jill...H will prob deny it's paternity.. so get ready with your syringe!!
Good luck with the next few months! Call if u need me! Cap
Ty for the congratulations!!! What was meant to be will be and I know I can't change a thing. So I will have to live with it the best I can. As for STBXH sorry for his luck if he does not consider this a precious gift.
As my dad keeps telling a baby is the most wonderful thing in the world and whom ever would not is a complete idiot. I believe in what he has said to me.
Well as for STBXH he has to stay away from me and have no contact what so ever with me. Same with his friends and family. So hopefully that will not be a problem.
I completely agree with you, he will say oh its not mine and I really don't care. He can only say that for 6 months, then the truth will come out. Then who will look like the a**, not me but thats not important. But in a way H knows me and how I am, so hopefully (thats a big one) he will act his age about this.
I just worried I will not make the right decisions In the next 6 months on how to handle H. I know, I know I should not think about it, I think of different things that could happen and how to deal with them. Ex. how am I going to handle my MIL and FIL? My MIL loves her grandbabies and Im afraid I will have to deal with her. This in itself makes me extremely uncomfortable.
But like you said I will stay calm because a blood test will tell all.
Well so far pregnancy has treated me really good. Except for one thing that I will not mention . Well just 19 more pounds to go (lets hope) and I will be ready.
Quote: H will prob deny it's paternity.. so get ready with your syringe!!
Well like I said before hopefully H will use his brain, but I very much say prob. not. I know I have so many paternity test I prob. could do my own . Well it would not be to bad if I could do my H (give me a big needle please, sorry I missed the vein do you mind if I fish around for it)
Please I pray my hormones stay under control, you my have to fly up here and bail me out of jail .
I know its wwwwaaaayyyy to early but tomorrow my GF is taking me tomorrow to look at baby stuff. I think it will get me excited, alittle pick me up. I just can't believe it's real after so many years of trying.
Im also looking forward to knowing what the sex is . Everyone is telling me it's going to be a girl. As long as its healthy and has my beauty we will be fine .
Well not to much to report on my end!! H was notified of our pregnancy. No response back from his lawyer. He did recieve the fax though.
STBXH did receive a letter from my stating if he was not going to follow the judges orders we would be forced to file contemp of court and sue for attorney fee's. So again as soon as he recieved the letter it was on the mail the same day.
My lawyer also said if he continued with the pattern of not paying on time we will be forced to file the motion.
My emotions got the best of me last night and I was almost ready to have a nervous breakdown. I dont know if its the horomones going crazy or just normal? I have been doing really good, but now that there is a twist to it, I just dont know anymore.
I am so mad at STBXH for everything he is putting me through and not taking any responsibility for his actions. I know I should not worry about H actions or what he does with his life. But he is now messing with another life that he helped create and it really p*isses me off.
Now someone needs to whack me . I think its ridiculous that we have to go through our lawyers to talk about this issue. I know it has to be this way, but its childish we have come to this.
So stupid me could not take it anymore, yep I called him at work. He kept saying Im going to get in trouble, im going to get in trouble for taking to you. I told him to chill out he was going to get in trouble since I called him. I also told him this was not to moral in my book to have to got through our lawyers to talk about this sitch.
Finally I told him Im well 14 weeks pregnant and he all ok and hung up. I expected nothing more, because well thats just him. I felt alot better after telling him. I am sure he believes 1) Im lying or 2) it's not his.
But I can understand why he would believe Im lying, since alot of women do fake pregnancy to get there H back. But it would be kinda hard for to fake being 14 weeks pregnant.
Today I had a very revealing convo with STBXH 1st ex cousin. I have know her for some time and she has absolutely no reason to lie or expand the truth. We matched stories up with what he did to me and what he did to his first.
She said thing's that H said to her(first ex) that he use to say to me. It was amazing because I could finish her sentence and things just made so much sense after I talked to her. After I talked to her I felt so much peace. Sometimes I believe this mess is all my fault, but then I see my H in a completely different light.
I see H as someone said a repeat offender, I am so p*issed at myself for falling for everything he said to me. How could I be so blind for so long.
I really dont know, I feel like I am in a bottomless pit with no where to go .
. Well my Lawyer talked to STBXH Lawyer and I think the outcome was she scared the sh*t out of my H. That very same day he sent the money.
. Well just 19 more pounds to go (lets hope) and I will be ready.
.
. I think its ridiculous that we have to go through our lawyers to talk about this issue. I know it has to be this way, but its childish we have come to this.