That was a LOVELY surprise seeing youe name up there!!! How are you?
Im glad you popped in to see that Im now FREE of chipdick and his baggy eyes.
He is not in a good way. Shame. Id like to say I,ll help him really. I,d like to, but I wont
E.mail me Calder, I NEED your gossip
mea. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My ex-Husband bought me a mood ring so he could monitor my moods. When Im in a good mood it turns green. When Im in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the B****** will buy me a diamond.
kell, mermaid, thanks. I will definately stay in touch, Ive still got "dealings" to thrash out with him, its still going to be rocky, but Im in a different frame of mind now. He affects me very little really, although I know there are some stormy seas ahead. Im at the helm of a massive ship though, while he,s in a little peddle boat. I,ll brave the storm much better than he will
Someone said to me today "you must hate him". But I dont. Because hate is not the opposite of love, in-difference is.
mea. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My ex-Husband bought me a mood ring so he could monitor my moods. When Im in a good mood it turns green. When Im in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the B****** will buy me a diamond.
Accept that you will never find rational motives behind irrational people , but you will drive yourself crazy if you try.
Accept that you will never understand why or how he can be so cruel and lack remorse, and let it go. You can only learn to understand yourself and your own behavior.
Accept that you cannot control or change an emotionl abuser (not with any amount of love, money, or attempts to be the perfect mate), but you can control how (or whether) you react or respond toward him.
Accept that your alien has nothing you need or want. Each time your bruised psyche attempts to convince you that you want or need him, use your brain. If you stop to think about what you really want and need, you will find that these are things he cannot give you (love, honesty, respect, kindness). He does not have them to give.
Know that these needs are normal human needs (the desire for companionship, intimacy, love, honesty, respect, affection, kindness) and that you can have these needs filled. Learn to find these things from within yourself and from other people .
Remember that if you try to get anything at all from him, you are giving him immense power, because he then has the choice to either give it to you or withhold it. Don't give him that power in the first place! Besides, why negotiate a deal with someone who doesn't have what they are negotiating to give in the first place?
Remember that it is always wiser to risk long-term happiness and leave that it is to risk long-term unhappiness (or worse) and stay.
In the beginning, before you learn to love yourself again, remind yourself that although the most difficult and heart wrenching thing is detaching, it is also the healthiest choice and the only true way out.
Always know this. They need us more than we need them! We've just been brainwashed into thinking the opposite of what we now know to be true.
Admit to yourself and to trustworthy support persons that you need love, concern, understanding, support, and especially validation to make it through recovery from emotional abuse.
Finally, remember that asking for or expecting any kindness, honesty, love, maturity, reason, or other unselfish behavior from them is like trying to get blood from a stone.
Try something you've always wanted to try. Take time for yourself. Take care of yourself. Do whatever it is you want to do. YOU ARE FREE NOW!
Start to consider what you want from a healthy partner in your next long-term relationship. If men want to establish an intimate and/or long-term relationship with you, let them know that you are available as a friend right now - and more may come later.
Learn to love and respect yourself. Give yourself all of the kindness and love he never did.
Soon you will see him for what he truly is, and you will see yourself as well. This I promise.
meaxxxxxxxxxxxx
Last edited by meanmydogs; 08/22/0612:45 AM.
My ex-Husband bought me a mood ring so he could monitor my moods. When Im in a good mood it turns green. When Im in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the B****** will buy me a diamond.
I will email you on the addy I use most. I seldom access the other one now,it is linked to my IM, just to look for certain pals or my son, cos I do not IM so much as WAH can lurk there.
Take care and blossom freely in the sun and fresh air!
Ive still got no e.mail Calder, the cable company say its not a fault at that end, as I can still access the internet, but my neighbour is coming in on Tuesday to try to sort it out for me, hopefully I,ll be able to write you then
Chipdick is still "missing in action", he,s been "out of the country" for a few weeks apparently, no idea where or why and no urge to find out either. My house has a SOLD sign on it though , which means chipdick is in breach of the Court Order because we had to agree on a price etc, and he hasnt kept me informed of anything, so my Solicitor is dealing with that at the moment. Im sad its sold, but its another step to putting everything behind me, and Ive got to accept it and get on with it.
I had a strange night the other night A relation of mine has been keeping on and on about this guy she knows, shes known him for 20 years and has often talked about him, and apparently had shown him a photograph of me over a year ago, and he kept asking her to fix us up for a night out Ive said NO so many times, but the other night I said OK, just a drink, no strings attached, mainly to stop her going on!!
Anyway, I had no idea what he looked liked, all I knew was his name was Stuart, he was Divorced, very well off financially, and wasnt an axe-murderer, which helps.
In my mind this was JUST a night out, not a date, and I trusted her judgement. Silly really!!
I sorted out a good back-up plan if I wanted to escape, had phone calls lined up for certain times, and 2 mates "following me" when I went to meet him in Town.
When I turned up he was already there and came straight over, and my first thought was "RESULT"!!! He was drop-dead gorgeous.
Then he spoke, " Hi, weally nice to meet you, Im Stuawt. What do want to dwink". OK, I thought, he cant sound his Rs, that could be cute I guess, and we went and sat at a table.
He was THE most boring person in England, Im sure of it. He talked non-stop about Fishing (he goes evwey weekend to the same spot at the same wiver, theres a certain wock he sits on ) and even though my glass had been empty for the best part of an hour, he didnt get any more drinks, and when I tried to get some he said "Its too expensive in here, save your money for later , we,ll go for a meal"
We walk to a road where there are a few different Restaurants (Not Fish Restaurants thankfully , I couldnt wait to get off the subject of Fish!!!), and he stopped to look at the prices on the menu,s outside of the first 2, but they were too expensive apparently, and we finally get in and get seated at a table near a toilet in a dingy dark Restaurant. By now I was pizzed off and didnt really want to stay, but thought Id give it a little more effort. His voice was REALLY starting to annoy me now, not because of his speech impediment totally, I wouldve liked it if he was good company, but his whiney-voice started to seem suited to him and made me want to smack him.
He says " Order whatever you want. Within reason" and made comments all the time about the prices. I offered to pay for my own, and he didnt say anything. The waiter comes over and asks if we,d like anything to drink, and I asked for some Wine, Stuart says "White or Wed?" and before I could even stop myself, I say "Wed Please" Then I had the giggles That soon stopped though because then the waiter starts showing me different bottles of wine on the menue, and Stuart says "No, not a bottle, just a glass please". I realised then, this guy was tighter than a ducks ass No wonder he was well-off, he never spends!!! I told the waiter to bring a bottle, and told Tight-ass Id pay for it. I needed it!!!
We look at the menu, and out of all the dishes Stuart could order, what does he order?? WAVIOLLI, thats what! I spluttered wine all over the table I didnt even order any food, I just wanted to drink by then, so I told him to carry on, that I wasnt hungry. He liked that.
I was a bit merry by now and the giggles came back, the more he spoke the more I had to try not to laugh. I ordered him a drink (he hadnt bought himself one) as we waited for his food to come, and I asked him if he minded if I smoked. He said " Yes Actually, Id prefer it if you didnt". So, Id prefer it if you didnt breath, tight-ass, but do you hear me complaining??
I went and sat on another table so I could smoke, and the more I thought of this stupid night-out, the more I had to resist the urge to march over to his table and flick ash in his dwink. I go back over and sit down and his food comes, so I pick up a breadstick and start to nibble on it and try to make conversation, and at one point I mustve pointed the breadstick in his direction, because he suddenly puts his hand OVER his food, then says "Oh, sowwy, I thought you were going to dip that bweadstick in the sauce, I hate it when people do that to my food"
I went to the loo, came out and said Id had a phonecall and I had to go. I asked the waiter if he could call me a Taxi, and Stuart says, "If you wait a few minutes, I,ll come with you, theres a bus-stop a short walk away" but I said No, I was fine, he should finish his meal, and I asked him how much I owed him for the bottle of wine, so he had a look and told me how much it was, then said "Just give me half". I said Id rather pay for it all, I wouldnt want him to think I was mean with my money, but he didnt notice the sarcasim and said ok. The taxi came, so I picked up my bag, said it was nice to meet him, and then picked up a breadstick and stuck it right into his Raviolli, scooped up a bit of sauce and stuck it in my mouth and said " Thats weally tasty, bye then!" and went.
I will NEVER listen to my family again or trust their judgemnt when they fix me up. His only redeeming quality was that he was good looking and not called Wichard.
My ex-Husband bought me a mood ring so he could monitor my moods. When Im in a good mood it turns green. When Im in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the B****** will buy me a diamond.
, which means chipdick is in breach of the Court Order because we had to agree on a price etc, and he hasnt kept me informed of anything, so my Solicitor is dealing with that at the moment. Im sad its sold, but its another step to putting everything behind me, and Ive got to accept it and get on with it.
A relation of mine has been keeping on and on about this guy she knows, shes known him for 20 years and has often talked about him, and apparently had shown him a photograph of me over a year ago, and he kept asking her to fix us up for a night out 
Ive said NO so many times, but the other night I said OK, just a drink, no strings attached, mainly to stop her going on!!
) and even though my glass had been empty for the best part of an hour, he didnt get any more drinks, and when I tried to get some he said "Its too expensive in here, save your money for later , we,ll go for a meal" 
, I couldnt wait to get off the subject of Fish!!!), and he stopped to look at the prices on the menu,s outside of the first 2, but they were too expensive apparently, and we finally get in and get seated at a table near a toilet in a dingy dark Restaurant. By now I was pizzed off and didnt really want to stay, but thought Id give it a little more effort. His voice was REALLY starting to annoy me now, not because of his speech impediment totally, I wouldve liked it if he was good company, but his whiney-voice started to seem suited to him and made me want to smack him.