Hello all, have not updated my situation lately. Last thread locked.
Sunday, I was watching my S6 for a few hours at my stbx's while she went to a baby shower. While I was playing with S, the phone rang and I answered it. I said hello at least 3 times with no answer back, but I could hear breathing. After the last hello, I simply said.. "get a life" and hung up. Didn't think anything of it, thought maybe it was a young prankster or something.
Come to find out today, from stbx, that it was the OM calling from prison. She asked me next time I'm over if I could simply not answer the phone. When I questioned her why, she said it was the OM and he got the wrong impression that her and I were back together. I asked her why the chicken s*it couldn't speak up for himself? She told me he didn't want any trouble. I have no ideal what she's filling his head with, so I left it alone. I still think he's a chicken s*it though.
I had to chuckle in the middle of our conversation, I told him to "get a life". Of course, most of you that are familiar with my story knows he's already been given 15 to life.
I always crack jokes about him in front of the stbx and I know this is bad DBing, but I might as well get a laugh at my own expense since it's costing me so much in so many ways. Stbx gives me a sarcastic look, but I know she wants to laugh at some of my jokes about him and his situation.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
couldn't hurt to let the parole board know about his crank calling.
You know Ford, I've thought about this. It could really look bad to the parole board for him to have a restraining order against him towards my S6 & S14 before they even consider him for parole.
It does create a moral dilemma for me because I know my actions could possibly keep this guy in prison longer. He's already been in 15 years and I'm sure the young victims Family is giving the parole board an ear full. He and his victim were in their 20's when this crime was committed. Before that, he didn't have a police record. From my stbx's account, it was a hot headed drunk with a gun that was purchased just weeks prior to the incident. I believe that somebody could be reformed, but I have a hard time trusting my stbx's judgement right now.
Should I be his judge and executioner because of my stbx's poor decisions?
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Your right, I have no respect for a Man who makes a play on a Married Woman. He was pursuing her knowing she was married and employed his Mom, Dad, and Sister to help him. He's scum I agree.
I'll wait and see what the situation is over the summer. His parole hearing isn't until Nov, so I have time. The EA may burn it's self out by then. I can see some cracks in it already.
As a side note, I've seen this guy's picture and he is butt ugly. She just got a new eye glass prescription and she's blind without her glasses. Maybe she's seeing a little clearer these days.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I think I would make a point of answering the phone ALL the time now - lol
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
WTF is the deal w/ butt ugly OM. I am not going to be asked to be on the cover of GQ anytime soon, but WTH, a big fat roly poly POS, but then again, he has my W so he is one up on me.
BTW, I would not pass up any opportunity to answer the phone in the future. I to had several calls from OM early on, and the fat f*cker wouldn't say anything. The last call, I told him to grow a set and say what was on his mind, no reply, so I told W to tell him the same thimg for me. Still no reply.
I would not hesitate for one second to report your W's POS, let him burn his own bridges.
81388 Me 43, waw 44, 3 kids(D15,D12,S6)Married 19yr, together 27yr. Bomb 11/27/06, Separated 3/1/07 Divorce filed 4/18/07,
"Because it is in giving that we receive; In forgiving that we obtain forgiveness; In dying that we rise to eternal life" St. Francis
I don't know WTF she sees in him at all. She's very attractive and intelligent. Although her intelligence has taken a hit as of late, she should be able to see this parasite for who he is. This idiot is way out of her league.
He has ass@ole written across his forehead. I can sense I'm going to have trouble with him should he get out. I can imagine by her behavior that he's already trying to pressure her when it comes to me and I think that may be why she's having second thoughts about him. He's already jealous and I think she's feeling apprehensive about it. I know she doesn't want to cut off all contact with me. She couldn't bring herself to do that all through our separation. It has always been her contacting me for the most part. She never lets a few days pass without contacting me for chat and emotional companionship.
Hopefully, this prison romance will burn it's self out, but If not, I'm prepared.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
always good to have a back-up plan!, and a back-up to the back-up.
H$ll, I don't even have a plan yet.:)
I am starting to give more creadence to the notion that W may need to "save" someone along w/ herself. Physically he is the opposite of me and anything she has ever found attractive, or at least shared w/ me.
Her reading list has included some self-help, but also treatment options for other problems that I suspect are on OM's resume. I think this is another way to justify her behavior, "we love each other and share a common passion, and he needs me, he is so wounded, our experiences are the same, it was destiny for us to be together."(my words, not her's)
I find myself doing less and less for my W. Not in an unkind way, just understanding that it is not appreciated so why do it.
81388 Me 43, waw 44, 3 kids(D15,D12,S6)Married 19yr, together 27yr. Bomb 11/27/06, Separated 3/1/07 Divorce filed 4/18/07,
"Because it is in giving that we receive; In forgiving that we obtain forgiveness; In dying that we rise to eternal life" St. Francis
I to often wonder if my W's motivation for this guy wasn't triggered by a need to "fix, nurture, and/or reform" him. She's always had a nurturing characteristic about her that I regrettable rejected most of the time. I never cared for the motherly fussing or worrying she would do over me. I would always tell her "don't worry about it", I'll take care of it, or I'm OK, don't fuss".
In retrospect, I think it was her emotional need to do this for me. She wasn't feeling needed or wanted by me, but I just didn't see it. I always thought it was my job to take care of her and leave my needs for last. I didn't open up to her as deeply as I should have. It was a mistake to not reveal my vulnerability to her. I was always very independent and was the more dominate in our relationship. I didn't maker her the needed and wanted partner she desired. I remember once telling her in a argument that I loved her, but didn't need her. She replied.. "It's true you don't need anyone, including me".... Ouch! I regret saying that in so many ways because I believe she took it the wrong way. Since then, I've learned to become much more eloquent with expressing my thoughts.
Now, this OM offers her all the wanting and neediness she can handle. Early on when I discovered one of his notes to her, it oozed with neediness and coerced sympathy.....
"Oh, the loneliness of this place is only suppressed by the image of your beautiful face and sympathetic words of encouragement".
"knowing we will be together someday gives me the strength to survive another day of this depressing existence"
etc, etc, etc, (BARF, BARF, BARF)...
He's playing on her sympathy and need to nurture like nobody's business. It's pathetic, it's so scripted and fake, yet she can't see it. He knows what he's doing and has plenty of time on his hands to do it. He's probably reading every Romance novel his jail boyfriend (Bubba) loans him.
OK, enough of this rant, you get my meaning. I know I have many of the characteristics she loves, but there were some emotional needs of hers I didn't pick up on until it was to late. I doubt it's possible to be the total package. She often tells me she wishes she could take some characteristics from me and some from om and combine them into one Man. I jokingly told her I hope she spears this "Stepford" designed Man om's looks. She didn't like that comment because she knows he's butt ugly.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
