My old thread locked and I have no clue how to link it but here is an update. I have not gone dark as of yet but it is getting easier to want to. He called the kids on Tuesday and when he was done with them (only 3 of the 5 would talk to him)My son said Mom do you want to talk to Dad? I said no but he told my son to give me the phone. Then he started in on if I really cared about him I would have come to see him. I told him that he had her there the day I was supposed to come, I cut my finger half off that day, and his mom told me he didn't want to see me. He said something else and I just said I need to go and hung up. He called two more times then finally stopped.
He called last night and told me his counselor wants to conference with me. I told him fine to give me the details when he had them. We had a short conversation about a few things and I got upset and I just said I have to go take care of our five children its Halloween and hung up. Then he calls his X-wife and talks to her and the kids. She asked him do you want a divorce and his answer is "I don't know" and then he goes on to tell her he doesnt want me to ever date or bring anyone else into the kids or my life. HELLO.... he is the one that has a girlfriend that he met in a psychiatric ward pregnant. Seriously he needs to wake up. He can't have it all.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
My commiserations for you. You're in a situation that sucks. your husband is nuts half, if not most , of the time.
I would only suggest to you, that when you talk with him and the counsellor, that you try to keep an open mind.
there's a lot of other things I could say... but I will only say that I think you're doing good by making it crystal clear to him, that his continuing to mess around with OW, eliminates the possibility of a good relationship with you.
He didn't call last night and I was/am relieved. I just honestly don't want to talk with him until he can at least stand behind his decisions He flip flops decisions like a sheet in the wind.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
Well he called Friday twice and he got mad and hung up on me the second time. I haven't heard from him since. I have a conference call at noon tomorrow with his therapist, H, and I. I am scared because he will blow if I say the wrong things but I want to be honest.
About me..
I was doing so good and so positive last week. I don't know what happened. Today all I want to do is cry. Are these ups and downs normal? I am hoping my medicine isn't having the reverse effect. It is an antidepressent/antianxiety med.
I see the doctor again next week.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
Well the counselor appointment is now postponed until the end of the week the counselor has jury duty today.
I honestly don't remember what made him mad. I still am not sure but with him it doesn't have to be anything. The whole converstion was just crappy.
Last night he called and we talked twice. Once for 15 minutes in which he told me he loved me and then he called back and we talked for 45 minutes. He still says he can't decide between me and OW. I feel like I am on a game show just waiting to be the winner and honestly I am not sure getting him back would be winning anymore. I mean I want him and I love him and then I think..... He has a BABY with OW on the way. (if it is his) He says it is because of course she has him convinced. Can I really get past that? We would now have another child to help take care of forever that was created because of his infidelety. I am strong but I wonder can I really do it? Would I be fair to the baby or would I resent it? Would it eventually destroy us anyway?
I am so confused. I don't even know what I am fighting for anymore. At what point is enough... enough?
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
I hadn't been taking his moms call and then stupid me takes it today and now I feel like [censored]. I told her he told me he loves me and she says he loves his x wife also but he isn't in love with either of you and you need to accept it. I can't believe how cold she is.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
I havent been here in a few days honestly I just have gotten to the point that I am done. Maybe I will come back from it soon but I am so frustrated with his on again off agains that I am totally just doing what I want for the kids and I and just ignoring him. I am almost scared at this point because I am afraid that if he does decide to come back I wont even want him. I am actually getting used to living without him and I am enjoying the fact that no one is yelling and screaming in the house. Who knows where we will end up.. I just hope it is peaceful... Not much more to say just kind of losing hope with H.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
