Feb 14th is kind of a crisis for me too! Don't know what to do! Not expecting anything. H will have class that night, so maybe I'll be lucky enough to be invited to bring him a starbucks to school?! Yeah!!!!! I'll be thinking up a good idea for you Jeff!
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
Jeff, it's good to see you're shaking off the safety net and thinking about how to create some of your own happiness. Remember there will be growing pains!
Be the man you want your kids to grow up to be. Absolutley wonderful, be their role model.
I was in the store the other day and in one aisle is Christmas clearance and the next one is full VD stuff. ugh. I love all the love that goes with VD, I just wish I had someone to accept what I have to give! I've kept it pretty light and generic the last few years. But I did buy heart shaped candles!
VDay is as good a day as any to tell your kids how much you love them, and then repeat often.
You mentioned how you want your kids to grow up and that having a bearing on who you want to become. Great analogy. But now, how do you put that into action?
For example, do you want your kids to be compassionate for other people? How would they show that .... through volunteerism maybe? And you? Perhaps you should begin now to find some volunteer opportunities in your area. Show them by example, and then include them in your efforts.
Even though you guys are ... guys ... there may be some ways to help at a Women's shelter. Painting. Collecting clothes or toys, food. Same goes for homeless shelters. Or just a Dad's club at the local school. Meet other dads. Network. Observe and consider new ways you would want to imprint positive character upon your young guns.
Taking my guys through the scout program instilled in me the desire to leave a place better than I found it, among other things. I probably got more out of it than they did, at least for now. The same thing is now happening through my participation at church, volunteering at a homeless shelter, and busting knuckles on Habitat houses. The boys are grown and gone, so these things are for me, and not to impress someone else.
You can do things for yourself now, and the kids will learn by watching. Getting them to join in will teach them even more. And what better place to learn about pitching in, than at home? Encourage them to do it not because they must, but because it is good and right to do. It is also a good place for your head to be at when you take out trash or clean house ... not because you feel you must, but because you feel it will make you a better person.
(((((BA)))))(((((Lisa))))) You guys make everyday better! Even on the bad days!
Lisa, we do need to have another party soon..... I'll have to check my calendar to see when I can squeeze one in! I'll let you know! Stock up on socks!
Do you mind if I pop in, settle into this cozy easy chair with a nice steaming mug of hot cocoa and make a suggestion? Make a list of good things about your w to help you try to focus on the positives about her. Even things that appear to be non-r related, like being a hard worker, dedicated to her job, etc.
I think the WAS (and those that are considering being a WAS) dwell so much on the bad things that all of those good qualities that we all have fly way off of the radar screen. In my sitch, I've forced myself to try to focus on the positives and not let the negatives cloud my experience and my perception of my h. Believe me, if I wanted to dwell on the bad, I probably would be divorced by now.
((((new_attitude)))) Please, come on in! I'm guessing it must be cold in your neclk of the woods! It's in the 50's here today, cool for here, but I have best not complain. I'll have a hot cocoa, too!
I like your idea. I've started that before, and I have found something interesting. Some of her best qualities are also her worst! For instance, she is very determined, and can do just about anything she sets out to do. Which is a good thing. Except that she can become so focused on what she is doing that other things have to take a backseat. Or get put in the trunk. Or left behind entirely. But, I think I will try to do this without thinking of the negatives, and see what I an come up with! I'll be back! Enjoy the chair!
