What people don't understand today is that often the second income in a family, be it man or women, actually LOSES money for the family. Years ago 20/20 followed a family in Boston that was having all the typical family problems. They brough in experts and analyzed their families income and budget, and PROVED to the family that if the wife STOPPED working, they would actually have more money to spend. I sat down one time and actually calculated that it took 65% of my wifes income of 50,000 to allow her to work. People don't actually look at ALL the expenses of being the second income, and I always encourage women that are thinking about staying home with the children to actually look at all the expenses. Here are some things that need to be looked at:
Taxes. Going from one income to 2 usually means the second is taxed at a much higher rate, and thus a lot more in taxes.
2 Car payments. I know, eveyone thinks they need 2 cars. When I was growing up, families often had only one, or one good car and a beater for Dad to get to work. Look at them today, 2 huge SUVS in the garages.
Clothing, the wife will spend money on fancy clothes for work.
Food. A whole lot more eating out and convienice food. Couples are just 2 tired to cook. And look at what is happening to the kids, there getting FAT on this food.
Childcare. 2 or 3 kids may cost 3-4 grand a month in child care.
Overall, you may not lose money, but I would bet that if most young familes actaully looked at how much the second income brings in, they would probably find that a $12/hour job might clear only $4/hour, after you take into account all the expenses of HAVING that second job.
No bloody way. I'm not going back to the days where I wouldn't have been able to vote, be considered someone's property, and be forced to stay in an abusive marriage because there was no alternative because I had not a penny to call my own. Totally not in charge of my own life.
No thanks. Suck it up, guys.
OH PLEASE! Let's exaggerate just a little bit more. Makes the conversation interesting. . .geez. . .
Kellie ------ Me - 27 H - 31 S - born 8/18/2007 Married - 4/24/2005 Together - 7/03/2002
Cemar, that is so interesting that your mom was ridiculed by other woman. I agree with Fran 100% that the SAHM is definitely looked down upon when it comes to working moms. No, not all woman look down on SAHM, but some do. It's like they're only doing half of what working mom's do. Me, I have a HUGE respect for SAHM and single mother's. My H has been there for me when I'm going insane b/c DS won't stop crying. I don't know what I would've done if it weren't for H. I really have a HUGE amount of respect for women's roles in life. It's tough, REALLY tough. For my stitch, I actually make more than H does. So me losing my income will actually bring us down to less than half of what we make now. That's hard to swallow! But we live w/in our means, pay cash for everything, no loans except for on the house, no credit cards. . .we're trying - really trying to get me to stay home. I just wish it were soon!!! But you make an interesting point about not earning as much as you're spending when both parents work outside of the home. You forgot to account for gas, which is a HUGE expense!!
This is a very interesting conversation. I'm glad that it was brought up!!!
Kellie ------ Me - 27 H - 31 S - born 8/18/2007 Married - 4/24/2005 Together - 7/03/2002
I totally agree with you on this Mrs Cac. I agree with Southern Girl too. We can't turn the clock back to the point where women were chattels. It is like we have been told "OK you can have the vote, and access to a decent education and maternity leave etc but only as long as you can act the same way a man does. Earn as much as a man, drink as much as a man, shag as much as a man - then you can count as a man and have equal rights".
In some situations, what we think of as "manly virtues" are more valued for a reason, and women (and men) who bring them will be rewarded more than women (and men) who don't.
But that doesn't mean anyone has to have their liberties taken away. I've heard a lot about how women like to be led, but they're not children... if they want to follow you, they will, and if they don't, it's not right to force them.
Originally Posted By: hapazard
I quite honestly believe that it would be a good idea to look at women's career paths in a totally different light - maybe encourage young women to have families much earlier and then return to education and the work-force in their 30s having already done the SAHM bit at a much earlier age. A straight line career from say 30 - 65 ain't bad.
Sounds good. I'd go one step further, cut out summer vacations, and let people get what we currently think of as a high school education by age 14-15 - and then be free to move out of their parents' home, to pursue further education, to start families, or whatever. I think most "adolescent rebellion" simply comes from people being sick and tired of still having to be children and having to waste several of their prime reproductive years completely unable to support and raise children, and from not having much to lose from "acting out". Anyway, adding a few years to everyone's effective lifetime will make it easier for people to have a good career and have time to raise kids properly. Maybe people with the smarts to have a good career would have more kids too, which would vastly improve our culture's long-term prospects.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
We are talking the 1960's and 70's. Womens libe was much bigger then. Women thought that having a career was the way, and they were VERY hard on SAHM's. When my mother talks about it, you can see that it STILL hurts her today the way these women treated her. It has gotten so bad, that now that my mom is alone and living very well on my Dad's pension and 401K, she feels guilty about USING any of this money, as she feels that she did not "earn" it like these liberated women. I have to explain to here that her raising the family and running the house allowed my Dad to spend more effort on his work, and thus to advance very high in his company and GET the nice luxuries.
What I do see today though is a slight trend the OTHER way, I have seen several women GIVE up their positions at my company so that they can become SAHM's. I love to praise these women for what they are doing. Raising kids IS the toughest job there is.
Your mom is an amazing woman to continue to raise her kids even w/ the glare of the other women. Women can be mean!!! Your mom has every right to live comfortably. After all, she busted her butt so that you and your siblings and your father could live comfortably. She needs to take care of herself now!!!
Kellie
Kellie ------ Me - 27 H - 31 S - born 8/18/2007 Married - 4/24/2005 Together - 7/03/2002
Let's exaggerate just a little bit more. Makes the conversation interesting. . .geez. . .
But you make an interesting point about not earning as much as you're spending when both parents work outside of the home. You forgot to account for gas, which is a HUGE expense!! 