forgot to add that at the end of our last convo she was pretty quiet. I said that yesterday i was going to tell her that she was really off the past few days and that if she ever need to talk i would listen.
light switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
Hi everyone i posted this on yoyo's thread earlier
Ice fishing was absolutely awsome. I was there at 930 setting up and drilling holes for anyone to use later(prob drilled 100 holes myself, gonna feel that tomarrow). I looked up and saw a bald eagle soaring around. my friends nephew was close by so i asked him if he had ever seen one and showed him. He looked and said "cool". I think we were in the right spot because all the kids caught fish and got a trophy. Mil came out and she enjoyed it alot. She has always sounded worried when i talk about ice fishing. w and sil brought kids out, w stayed for a while. she also enjoyed it. mid 30's breezy outside, inside icehouse was prob 80 at times. Overall everyone had a blast, laughs, and hot chocolate. http://s209.photobucket.com/albums/bb222...mview=slideshow
i realy don't know who had a better time the kids or me. it was great!
I really need to get to bed but i wanted to comment on what happened this evening. I was in computer room sanding after mudding sheetrock, listening to dvr of race in next room. W and I end up in a conversation about every day stuff. It really felt good just to talk to someone. She asked how work was going and i commented on how it was, elaborating. She looked sad or something so i asked whats wrong, she said nothing. Then said you know what i miss, talking to you. I commented on thats why i came back and elaborated on my work situations and thoughts.
I took a shower before i watched the last 40 laps of the race. She was on the couch and i was on the chair. I could tell she was crying. Dont know if she knew i knew. She fell asleep before the race was over, i didnt wake her. D17 was finishing report in next room. I went to bed (aka checking in w my friends here first).
light switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
Ive only been on computer a hand full of times since my last post. Keeping my self busy. Not really happy but busy. Almost done with our computer room project.
Boy i dont even know where to start! I have been pricing appartments. I am going to look at a couple when they call back. I put camper in paper. (Here you go Mark, buy my camper and moove to Florida).
My wife sounds so similar to Husband its not funny (accept mine is still involved w/om). She is so stressed out depressed or something like that.
The night before last I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. W calls me from upstairs (our bed)(remember i am sleeping in basement) at 4am. She asked me if i would come to sleep in our room cause she was scared. I asked whats up and agreed. She put her head on my shoulder. She said she missed this. I said i missed this just as much as talking to you. I didnt try to initiate anything. but did put my hand on her side. I made it to work by 6am.
Then right back to me finding an apt.
More in a bit.
one apt called, going to look
later
light switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
Light, may I ask why on EARTH are you looking into moving out? I don't know all of your situation, but W is obviously reaching out to you in some ways. Does she want you to leave?
TAKE YOUR TIME with that apartment. Yes I too dread selling our camper. I have not yet. I HOPE to get at least one more trip out of it now that my truck passed smog. And yes W brought up the shortage of money again. I will start working more overtime now. I have only done a little because there is so much to do around here and at MIL house. I WISH my Wife would have asked me to "sleep" with her. I think the arm on her side is a good move. I think in my sitch I need to also make more contact with my wife. I had a great plan today but forgot when I got home she was going out to lunch with her friends. Buddy it takes time. I would hate for you to find an apartment and then things start to work out. Now of course sometimes being away at your apartment could make W miss you more. That is something to think about. Take care bud I am off to "Piecing"
trying to send positive thoughts your way
Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
LWB, This is how i see it: First w wants me out so she can fig out what she wants (to be alone or with om or me). she doesnt hate me or say she wants a d(has said she wants d when she feels im not looking hard enough to move out).
If i stay she becomes more misersble. Tonight when i got home she said she feels like she is cheating on me. I replied you are calmly. She said that i am all high and mighty with morals now. I replied no, im keeping busy doing things to keep my sanity. Well you see where this is going. One other thing i asked if she regretted asking me to bed the other night, she replied only cause it led you on. That night even with my hand on her side i was thinking rollercoaster, no expectations. Ok only one, i wanted her to know i cared about her.
If i stay I feel like i will have to file because she will leave with the kids. Once that can is opened i dont believe their will be any reconciling.
My plan is to move out for 6mo (min lease). Invite kids over as much as possible. make my own normality. Seperate finances to do what you want with each half. After bills.
Sara i have been draging regurally. W is so cought up in her own crap about draging she doesnt see the household things i am doing.
The sum is: I stay - w unhappy. I go - wife may be happy.
I think im feeling drunk cause of the sleeping pill kicking in.
I think im done tonight
Light switch - OUT
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
Ya know the way you described it is sounds like IF I WERE in your sitch. My Wife would feel the same way. I see your point. I think you are right. Sometimes our wives take there anger, and low self esteem out on us. They "can't be the problem" so it must be us right? I think your plan sounds good. AND I KNOW what you are saying about putting your arm around her. I would have done the same thing for the same reason. (Well around my wife not yours). Damned if you do and damned if you don't right? Keep it up big guy. Every sitch is different. Some you need to nip it at the bud in the beginning others ya need to take your time. Some you can only work things out together but then others ya need to be apart to see what ya are missing. The trouble is you don't know which one you have until ya try. Later Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I've been lurking around here and there, not enough time in the day. I feel like im missing something when i can't make it on the boards.
Here's my update
I put money down on an apt. sign papers when they find out im not a criminal. they agreed to paint before i move in, (few days).
d12 and s8 dont know yet. w wanted me to tell them over supper, i declined. really dreading this.
In a conversation last night with w. she wants to help make it a nice place. she asked if she could call me if she needs help with something, she said like putting air in bike tire. I said i bought a hand pump for that. she said you know what i mean. We talked about the kids being over on the weekends and said she should look for a part time job (jokingly) to keep her busy while they are not home. My comment was im looking for a housekeeper on those weekends ya interested, (she smiled).
She commented if i was worried about om moving here, dont be. Apperently he told her he's not moving here to fix her problems, He wants her in the future if she is avalible(not married). He commented that me moving out wasnt enough, I moved back in after living in the camper last fall, i could move back in again. (they still talk all the time)
She asked me if i was going to date. I said no. She also said she cant say she wants a d. She wants us to live on our own I think she wants to see if she misses me?
I know there is more to tell but im getting tired, (sleeping pill well kicked in).
Hey LWB you could go to doc to get some sleeping pills. they help me fall asleep and stay asleep. I still wake up to phone or other noises, not like im knocked out.
Good Night Everyone
Light Switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
In a conversation last night with w. she wants to help make it a nice place. she asked if she could call me if she needs help with something, she said like putting air in bike tire. I said i bought a hand pump for that. she said you know what i mean. We talked about the kids being over on the weekends and said she should look for a part time job (jokingly) to keep her busy while they are not home. My comment was im looking for a housekeeper on those weekends ya interested, (she smiled).
Cool move light,ya see ya still got your Mojo..
Originally Posted By: light switch
She commented if i was worried about om moving here, dont be. Apperently he told her he's not moving here to fix her problems, He wants her in the future if she is avalible(not married). He commented that me moving out wasnt enough, I moved back in after living in the camper last fall, i could move back in again. (they still talk all the time)
I was so close to "moving" to our camper also. Kind of did on weekends.
Originally Posted By: light switch
She wants us to live on our own I think she wants to see if she misses me?
I know there is more to tell but im getting tired, (sleeping pill well kicked in).
This says it all. Try to make EVERY contact a positive one. This is going to be hard I know. I went through a time thinking..." well if you think you don't need me then I am NOT doing anything for you". WRONG this (in our wife's mind) just give them for ammo to think neagive about us.
hang in there buddy..
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
