"The moon is down; I have not heard the clock" that is what comes to mind when I read your posts.....a foreshadowing of something bad about to happen.
And yes, I do speak English, In fact I am actually quite fluent in the language.
And yes, I do listen, it is a skill I learned while being thrown into the terrible position of being Married to a MLC'er, being a LBS and taking advice from those who had walked this path before me, which helped to actually help save not only my Marriage but also myself.
If memory serves me well, I do recall that I have been posting to you quite consistently ever since you began posting in this forum, sometime in the new year, so yes, I do read your posts.
As for you BT, your life will continue to snowball and spin out of control until you are brave enough to actually look in the mirror and see that there is something deeper there that needs changing far beyond your appearance.
I am sorry, but you have not changed, or followed the DB principles. You have acted out of fear and it shows in your impetuous behavior.
If you don't like things that are posted to you, you ignore them, rather then thinking that maybe they might be right, or maybe they might have a point.
So BT, IF you can be really honest, and can actually have the balls to discuss this with me rather then acting so miffed, what exactly was it about my post to you that got your feathers so ruffled?
Just wondering what sore spot I touched upon.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Well she came home very quitely. This morni ng was a mess. She wanted to ride with us to son's soccer game and I didn't want her to. She was hung over and looking for a fight. Things went down hill from there. My son played a great game but she didnt see any of it for she was on the phone the whole time. Whata shame for my son.
She went out, had a good time came home quietly � she was feeling rough when she got up, but even so wanted to go to her sons ball game.
You on the other hand were angry that she went out, you were angry that she drank too much beer and flirted with guys. You didn�t want her to go to the ballgame.
It sounds to me like it was you that was looking for a fight BT not your W.
I am not saying that her behaviour is right, I am just saying that you need to take some ownership in the way that YOU are behaving.
Nutty.
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
This all sounded very sarcastic to me. If you have read my posts you know I have taken resposibility for more that half of the issue we have had in our marriage. I have acted Impetously and that is a charactor flaw of mine. This is all very difficult for me and i believe the best thing to do for both of us is to split for now. She yells at me everyday that all she wants is a divorce. I really don't think I can change her mind. We need space.
Nutty; Thanks for your thoughts, we both went to the party, the issue there was someone had to go home for S12 was coming home at 9:30PM and someone had to be the adult and come home. Guess who that was. This party was a fund raise for the Parents of the Lax players, she could not give a hoot about Lax thus should have had nothing to do with the party. On Saturday morning S12 had a soccer game. I was advised to not have her in the car when we went to these games for all she wants to do is argue and it sets a bad tone for my son, on of the most important palyers on the club. We also have to be there one hr before the game which is a waste of time for her. I simply asked her to drive herself and save time and agrevation. She also has a propensity to make us late for these games. As a matter of fact we had a lax game later that and she came by herself and made it for the last 5 minutes.
PLEASE don't think that I am any angel, I am not. I am going through a very difficult time that is sometimes out of control and i don't and maybe can not act properly but i promise you I am doing the best i possibily can.
Let me finish by saying I am very in love with my wife and kids which makes things even harder. It feels to me that her only mission is to hurt me as much as possible. I know understand that the people that you love the most will be the ones that hurt you the most. AGAIN, I know I can not help her but I really my only wish is that i could. My feelings for the day is were sung by Dicky Betts (Alman Brother's) when he wrote:
"There aint nothing you can do, when that women she don't love you, there aint nothing you can say, when that women wants to go the other way".
Thank you for your thoughts they are very valuable to me.
How is your son? Have you taken him to a counselor yet? Would you please take one piece of advice and let him see a counselor ALONE without either of his parents in the room. My son has done this for almost 3 years now, to very good effect. His dad and/or I are sometimes invited in, but normally the sessions are private, for him alone. I strongly urge you to do this in light of the volatility of your family situation.
Well I found out for sure that my W has been reading my blog today. I am some what happy about that, maybe she can see some of my side of the story. I am also very happy that everything I have written is very true. I have been doing really well with the leadership of my Psyc, L and very good friends. I think I am happier than I have been for a very long time and feel very confident about the future.
She has also been reading my text messages. I know this for she has been dictating them verbatem to friends of mine. For someone who has no interest in me this is very funny behavior. I wish her well.
"Fare you well my darling, fare you well my only true love" JG
Keep on working on yourself. I highly recommend Elizabeth Lesser's book Broken Open. It's a profoundly moving story/essay about using life's trials to lead us to a deeper consciousness of ourselves. She's obviously not the first to say this, but her words are powerful. I loved how she urges us to ask not whether we want to stay married, but to ask instead what lessons do our souls want to learn? That will help us decide whether to try to work it out with our spouses or move on. She then goes on to explore how at these moments of crisis we can shut down, withdraw, and blame the world, or we can look deeply into ourselves and come through the fire as more complete people. The focus needs to be on ourselves, not trying to figure out the spouse.
I need a new book, thanks. I am coming out of this thing nicely now. No longer concerned about what she thinks or where she is going or doing. I have learned a lot in a very short period of time about a lot of people in my life.
Just checking in. Been awhile since I've stopped by your thread. You sound like you are managing through some tough times. I think I'd like to check that book out that Bruce mentioned. If only reading a book could heal a broken heart--I'd be reading 24/7!
Keep working at it. You seem to be moving toward a healthier place. This may be my last post until early July. I'm leaving tomorrow for six weeks and may not be able to access this site. Take care of yourself, and do some good for others. You'll feel better for doing so.
