Straight from "wall-E", lol, the quote made me think. I dont' want to just barely get over the disintegration of my M, i want to live life fully, to the extent God intended me to, my devotional today mentioned how God wants us to live an abundant life, filled with blessings.
When I came to this side of the DB boards I expected mostly sad and mournful posts, but, alas! I found a lively bunch who had been to heck and back and had become wiser, who lead lives they were proud of and could joke around like no one's business. This bunch didnt' just survive their D, they moved on to better things.
A brief recap:
Married 10yrs, together 13 d5, s10
WAS Sep 2005, EA turned PA H comes back April 2006 PA behind my back since June 07, makes ow believe I'm an abusive mother & crazy Jan 08 Trial S since I find out he's in contact w/ow Feb 08 I find out he's half living w/her while going to MC w/me H asks for legal S
I was in a rut when I posted last thursday in C2H's post. But, behold! who does God send to lift me up? stbx. He must've been totally miserable to actually called me because we never talked about personal stuff anymore. He was feeling like giving up and was miserable. Guess the S, ow and his work didnt' fill his void after all. He didnt' call about us, he called about him (it is always about him) I know better than to read anything else. We talked, his untreated ADHD is creating havoc at work/social life. I told him same thing I said before about his diet, vitamins, perhaps meds. I dont' push, just mentioned, this isn't my fight anymore.
After I hang up with stbx I realized how sad it must be, to live like that, feeling like giving up in every area of one's life--he feels so empy, I felt sorry for him, if only he'd look up, if only he'd go back to God that emptiness that is eating him would be filled. I thanked the Lord for giving my life new meaning, for reminding me that stbx leaving our M was not due to what I was lacking as a W, mostly about him being utterly miserable and unable to put others in front of him and because he has psychological issues.
I love my life. As I looked at my posts in piecing, specially the ones before the bombs I saw a poor woman, wondering how she can make her H happy, hurting and being rejected, trying to keep a man who kept running away from her and hurting her, a man who wouldnt' give 2 cents for her.
I still think of my stich/stbx often, but I am at peace, and I pray that the times I think of stbx/oldM are seldom and far apart. I hurt of course and have my moments, but I have come a long way. God is all I need. He's everything. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
wow, wouldn't you know, stbxc gave me a small bday present! I got nothing for mother's day (well, he did tell me last time he got nothing that I wasnt' his mother :p) that was a big surprise.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
It is strange isn't it? I mean there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to what they do. It even gets to the point that when they do do something nice, they leave us scratching our heads wondering what that was all about.
Sweetie, you've got it all going on, so I'm not worried about you or the life that's ahead of you in the least. I do however feel sad for these WAW's who have no faith to fall back on when times are tough. I couldn't have gotten this far without my beliefs, and I wonder how people who feel so lost and empty don't make that connection.
Have an extra piece of cake for me. I don't think that you get the calories when you're eating it for someone else.......
my bday is tomorrow, I won't be seeing him so he actually brought it ahead of time.