Weird day. H and I had to go to court over a personal matter. We got a sitter and did a little shopping for the kids and then out to a quick serve dinner. We had a nice time.
It was kinda interesting, my h said we should get matching tattoos. His would say "king of kings" and mine would say "queen of queens". He also said to put 4 hearts one for each of the kids names and one for his name. Hmmm what does all this mean?
I did say h I think you should move home first before we get matching tattoos. I am not really a tattoo person. I kinda pride myself on having an untouched body this way. Not sure if it's my style.
I did mention I could try the henna first and see if I like it.
H also mentioned that we have an anniversary coming up. I just said really and left it at that. He is always talking about the future lately like we need to get a new washing machine, landscape stuff, downsize my vehicle.
Hmmmmm would any of this be confusing to anybody else?
glam, I am glad to hear you had a nice day with your H.
About the tatoo comment, maybe he's showing an MLC symptom. I wouldn't get one myself as I too am not a tatoo person. I wouldn't mind a temporary tatoo though.
On the flip side, I think your H is showing commitment and connection to you (from his tatoo suggestion). Isn't that uncommon that people show their commitment to each other through this "proclamation" to the world of their bond? I hope I am making sense here.
Also, I think his mentioning the anniversary and new washing machine, etc. shows he plans to stay with you, to share the future with you.
Well, inside I felt like it would be good to send her, but it may send the wrong message and push even more, I don't know. Oh, I haven't sent the link.
Do you think praying is and maybe having one person you know you can turn to is all that we have most of the time. That's I feel right now. Sometimes I feel very alone in all of this and there not much I can do to change things for the better. I need and am trying to feel closer to guide and rely on him more. I just not there yet, but I hope to get there soon.
PH do you a whole lot of praying all day? Also anything else that makes it easier to cope? Sometimes I feel distracted. Sometimes I feel like a pray some of the same stuff over and over and my mind feels blocked to anything new, but am want God's help in any way he will give it me.
I would like to find a good bible study group.
Hey sooners, Yes, praying and asking others to support us in prayer, and working on ourselves to change are about all we can do right now. Try to remind yourself that these are good weapons against the situation. Prayer can be powerful.
Yes, I pray alot each day. I try to pray the Hedge of Thorns prayer every hour or 2. And othe rprayers (Power of Praying Wife), and my own.
The other thing is have gratitude, and praise God as often as you can for what He is doing and has done.
How are you doing PH? Are you still working long days?
My h has NO tatoo's nor has he ever mentioned that he would like to have one. He did mention something about bonding with our s19 with tatoos.
I hope he plans to stay with us. This is all so confusing.
I am trying to step back from the picture and recognize that I just need to support my h and not give him any advice or direction. He just doesn't seem to appreciate my advice. I don't do it out of judgment or anything, it's just my nature and I can see the end result if my h doesn't follow it, but he is a grown man.
He will be here wed, thur sun and I am not sure about sat.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I know I'm not supposed to ask questions. It is just so hard right now.
I'm trying to focus on something else but it is really hard b/c this has happened so quickly. I sure wish he had that cooling off period like some places do.
I hope things are going well for you!!!
nlt, Thanks for checking in on my thread. I agree with Steelers. Your continual questioning of why this happened and why so fast, etc. is only hurting you rather than helping you. Neither of us are professional counsellors. Please get professional counselling help and join a grief support group. This would be YOUR way of loving and caring for yourself, which you so need now.
Nothing anyone can say in response to your questions can help you heal or change your situation for you. The healing needs to be done by YOU. You are the only one who has the power to do so, if you so CHOOSES. If you don't make this decision, you won't heal. You need to decide to heal and work on yourself.
I do worry about you. Please make the choice to love yourself enough to want to heal. (((nlt)))
How are you doing PH? Are you still working long days?
My h has NO tatoo's nor has he ever mentioned that he would like to have one. He did mention something about bonding with our s19 with tatoos.
I hope he plans to stay with us. This is all so confusing.
I am trying to step back from the picture and recognize that I just need to support my h and not give him any advice or direction. He just doesn't seem to appreciate my advice. I don't do it out of judgment or anything, it's just my nature and I can see the end result if my h doesn't follow it, but he is a grown man.
He will be here wed, thur sun and I am not sure about sat.
glam, I am not working long days but there is alot of work to do, and pressure. Deadline on Friday. I am hanging in there even though I really do just want to cry and cry and cry, if I have the time. Today, I noticed myself tearing up a couple of times, thinking about and missing my H. I had to pull myself together because I had to go meet with people to discuss work-related issues.
I really have good feelings about your situation. Like I said before, I would rather be in your shoes than mine now. I am also like you in that I like to give advice out of love and concern. Problem is men hate being told advice, unless they ask for it. They want to be respected unconditionally. I bet your H finds it so hard that he's depressed because he may think he's not worthy of respect due to his pression. So maybe you need to work harder than ever to NOT give advice or direction. Also, I noticed he's younger so he may feel mothered when you give him advice.
I hope you have a good time with him tomorrow and the next few times you see him.
You are right PH, he mentions did I ask for your advice help etc. He needs to figure this out. I am going to work even harder at not giving advice or feeling resentful and just be supportive and encourage h.
This is what I am going to pray about. Thanks.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
You are right PH, he mentions did I ask for your advice help etc. He needs to figure this out. I am going to work even harder at not giving advice or feeling resentful and just be supportive and encourage h.
This is what I am going to pray about. Thanks.
glam, Not giving advice/help without his asking will be a great 180 for you. And I think being supportive and encouraging of your H will only make him love you MORE!! Give him REAL love, i.e. loving him the way he needs. In time, he will be ready to love you the way you need.
Thanks PH you are so encouraging. It's great to get advice on what I could do better. I am very headstrong and don't mean to offend my h, but I have a tendancy to just blurt out things. Not in my best interest.
I am going to just keep praying that God show me a different way to connect.
This is good. Thanks! Funny my s19 also said I need to try to communicate differently.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Today, I noticed myself tearing up a couple of times, thinking about and missing my H. I had to pull myself together because I had to go meet with people to discuss work-related issues.