this is quick, I haven't gotten to check out your post on infidelity, but there are several others on the board dealing with walkaways in crisis in their late 20s-early 30s. Some people think of it as an early MLC, or a quarter life crisis, though they are different. Astrologically (if you're into that) people call it Saturn Returns.
People to read up on would be One Day, Beth83, and Essie (in Midlife). I am sure there are more, those are just the ones that I know and post to! And me too my BF left me when he was 29 1/2
When I first got "hit by the bombs", I thought it might be MLC, but the more I learned the more I realized it wasn't MLC, it was a bunch of differnet stuff. in the beginning I WANTED it to be MLC because I felt like then I could fit his behavior to a pattern and "know what to do." But now I am relieved that it wasn't MLC because MLC can take soooo long to run its course! In the beginning I just wanted someone to tell me what to do, and didn't realize the importance of doing my own detective work on my situation--what works, what doesn't, experimenting, monitoring results, etcetera!
also, I would try moving from infidelity to "newcomers" because you will probably get more responses in newcomers!!
I am living through my H's MLC that started when he was 27. Now he is 29 and after being legally seperated for about a year and a half - we are now peicing for our fourth attempt.
My story is all in about 3 or 4 threads here on the board since last december if you are interested in seeing what I have been through (bankruptcy, strippers, alchoholism, abondonment). Its about as bad as it gets.
But we are trying to get through this M'd. He is still in MLC and I am very scared he will leave again.
Check out my threads here and over in peicing if you want to learn more. Good Luck. TIPPER
My husband is also in crisis, it has aspects of MLC but he went through a serious illness so I think it may be more to do with that. He is 26 and I am 27. I'll take a look at your thread in infidelity.
My BIL went throw a MLC at the age of 29 so personally I think it can hit at any age but that is just my opinion.
Not sure. Just a different perspective because I've seen all kinds of theories about quarter-life and mid-life crises.
I think there is a time in a lot of people's lives where they hit some situation that causes them to question who they are, might raise fear/depression/anxiety in them, or causes some emotional or mental breakdown. An observation I had during my separation and divorce was there's often a huge loss or incident that reminds them of some past abuse, traumatic incident, or hurtful situation in their lives and they may act out or behave strangely. Even the person in "crisis" can't pinpoint it for you...it's a vague, nagging, confusing time for them.
Thank you all for posting! It's such a relief to hear that I'm not the only one in this situation! I browsed through the forum a little but I noticed that most of the couples are older, so I'm glad that I found you all who are around our age. I will have a look at your stories. I also figured that he's in some sort of crisis, that his life is passing by without him, sort of. We had a lot of stress the last 6 months before he moved out, had a lot of fights and no sex life. Maybe it was just too much for him. As you probably read, there's also OW involved, I'm not sure what part she's taken in this drama. Maybe she convinced him that he's so unhappy and needs to break free. He can be influenced very easily... At the moment we're still having contact, he's texting me and calling me, but always for a reason. Last time I asked him if we could do something together some time, have dinner or go see a movie. He didn't turn it down exactly but he said it would be just out of friendship. Do you think I should accept his friendship? I don't know what to do...
Me -32 BF -28 together since 2002 not married no kids
TS, the best thing you can do is to accept his friendship right now no matter how hard it is on you. You have to act as if, and show him a happy you that makes him start to miss you and wonder what is making you so happy. It is very hard, but most of us here have all done it.
I suggest that you go back through my threads (about 4 of them or so, since last Dec. 23rd '07). You will get many ideas from what i have done in the past. Every situation is different. But I can remember when I first was going through this, I would find someone that had a similar sitch as mine and I would read all there old threads to get ideas and hope. Good luck. TIPPER
my BF left me when he was 29 1/2