I don't think she is ready to talk relationship yet. So far, whenever she mentions our relationship, it is only to say that we are not getting back together again. But she has mentioned several times that she is glad that I finally got my act together. So maybe in 6 months to a year she would be willing to give us another chance (I am definitely hoping/praying).
It is always hard to tell what she is feeling/thinking. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks we are just always going to be just friends and that what I am doing for her is just normal. My friends at first thought I was stupid for trying to make things work out after the divorce, but now they have come to really admire what I am trying to do. But most of all, they tell me that my ex has to see that I am really making an effort and that I am not just being a friend. But who knows - I don't want to get into the guess game.
All I know is that I love my ex/daughter more than anything in the world and I am willing to give it my all.
Need some advice here. My daughter lately has been asking me why I can't take care of her all the time. I know that this is really beginning to hit my daughter and she hates being away from me. I tell some lame excuse like I have to get ready for work or something, but she keeps asking me why and I really don't know what to say. Any suggestions?
I feel like I am falling more and more in love with my ex each day. Its the little things I love about my ex - the way she laughs, the way she twitches her eyes when she is surprised - all the little foibles and idiosyncrasies I once took for granted. I remind myself that I must be faithful in the little things before I am entrusted with the big things. Today my ex asked if I could pick up some pebbles for her if I had time after I took our daughter to the movies. Although that might seem like a small gesture, I know that those things mean a lot to my ex.
Although I know I am a long way from this, I dream of the day that I can get on my knees and ask my ex to marry me. I'll be turning 30 this month and I've never been more clear with what I want my life to be.
I wonder if maybe you need to look at some parenting books for divorced parents?
I guess you could say something like "Mom and Dad are living in separate houses but I will always be there if you need me."
You could mention to XW and ask if you could talk to D on telephone?
You sound as if you have really made changes in yourself and you speak of your wife lovingingly. I am glad for you and I do hope that things go in the way you want.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Thanks breton39 for the suggestion. I will try something among those lines. I see my daughter almost everyday as I pick her up from daycare everyday. I also speak to her almost each night as she gets ready for bed - so that is always nice.
This morning my ex called me up at around 5 am just to talk about whatever. That was really nice and I enjoyed listening to her. When we were married, almost every morning we would wake up about 30 minutes before our alarm rang and I would listen to my wife speak whatever was on her mind as I was holding her in my arms. Those moments were priceless and I was remembering that as we were talking this morning. Like I said in my previous post, its those little things that matter most.
Later this evening we had dinner at some sea food place and I really enjoyed her company.
Once again breton39, thanks for all your support.
Last edited by lovenomatterwhat; 11/11/0803:56 AM.
I really screwed up today. My daughter had a doctors appointment for a checkup and I totally forgot about it. I had to reschedule the appointment. I apologized to my ex and told her I feel really bad about. I could tell she was upset although she didn't tell me so.
I feel like crap right now. I feel like all my hard work and progress just went down the drain. I love my ex and my daughter so much. I am just a loser. How could I forgot something like that. Right now trust is a big issue with my ex and if I can't even be trusted to take my daughter to a doctors appointment on time, how in the world is she going to trust me.
I am writing this doing my lunch hour as I went home to cry and now I am venting. I feel like giving up right now. This journey is so hard with my doing the right things that one screw up like this makes it seem like all that hard work was for nothing. Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but I felt so bad that I had flowers (daisies) sent to her job with a note that said "I'm really sorry and I feel really bad."
The thing is, I really do feel really bad and I don't know that that is even going to matter to her. All she sees is that I screwed up and that she cannot rely on me for anything.
Okay, I update you all on what happened afterward as I am going to lay on my bed right now and cry.
well, today when my ex came to pick up our daughter, she was in a happy mood and told me to not worry about it, that we all make mistakes. We then went to Star Bucks for a while to chit-chat for bit. Funny thing is, I found out that the flower place sent my ex the wrong type of flowers with a note that said "Your my Hunky Dunk" We both had a kick out of that.
That goodness everything went okay. I was really freaking out and felt really bad about missing the appointment. So I was glad she made nothing of it.
Just read your thread and good good luck to you. I am in almost totally your state of mind re the w but unfortuneatly mine has om which kind of stops everything dead in the water.
We defineately only know what we had when it's lost.
you are doing great and i hope your ex one day sees that and starts moving back to you
Today was tough emotionally. For whatever reason I was really frustrated and missing my ex really badly. I wish I could go back and redo everything knowing what I know now. How could I be so stupid? I don't know how much longer I can wait till I explode. Yet, I know that I must wait as long as I must - at least as long as progress is being made - no matter how slowly it may seem.
I turn 30 this month and sometimes feel like I am wasting my time trying to get back with my ex. I love my ex/daughter so much and it feels like I am never going to get them back. This is definitely testing my patience and will. And yet, my ex waited a long time for me to come back so I owe it to her to wait for her - to give her the time to learn to trust and respect me again.
Most of the success stories have a common theme. The lbs has utterly and truly let go of their ex and is getting on with their life.
Your ex knows you are still keen and whilever she knows that it's likely she wont be interested.
Perhaps try cutting down the interaction and friendliness. Perhaps go on a few dates.
You can't fake it with the person that knows you best in the world - somehow you have to really not want your ex back for her to be interested. No idea how to do it but that's my current thinking.
That said i'm doing an appalling job of achieving that.
