Let the games begin!

[lovelyolive]

cat-I can almost guarantee he won't accept it. He is grasping at straws to show that I'm a crazy unfit mother..

Question of the Day:
When would you consider the LBS to be involved in an affair?

Is it an affair if, while going through D proceedings, you talk on the phone to a member of the opposite sex that stbx doesn't know?

Is it an affair if you date someone months after your spouse has filed for D and has had an op for over a year?

Soo.. what's the cutoff here? and, when do we get to move on with out lives, too?

Just looking for opinions..

[Sara]

My opinion is that it is an affair, legally, when it is sexual. I don't think court is interested in emotional affairs. That is too intangible. An affair is when you can hire a PI and get pictures.

[fightingirish]

lo, i would have to agree with sara. Although emotional affairs happen, as far as the courts, they probably wouldn't reconized it.

I could be wrong.

[ourcrisis]

for the court, i agree with sara. for the person thinking about having an affair, i am more conservative. I personally would consider myself having an affair if I let my interest grow on someone while I still have an hope or an interest to be with my husband. For me only, if I have not given up hope on H, I would not entertain any advances or try to date. Once I have given up hope on H, however, then I would consider myself single and would not considert calling someone an affair (does not mean I would date anyone, but I would not feel guilty if I do). The sexual part is bound by the court and the cutlure we live in, but it is my own conscience that I go by. does that make sense?

anyway, good that it went your way.

[cat03]

ditto to the above. Why would it matter if stbx knows or not? he's been with an op for so long and has been gone from the M mentally long ago that it is doubtful he/she would think much of it. I'd be more scared of rebound Rs than anything else :\

[lovelyolive]

We are going to trial.. ugh... I knew it. I guess I know him better than I thought I did since I have been telling everyone that he won't settle out of court.. Sadly.. I was right...

In regards to the above question.. Trust me.. he cares.. if only to alleviate his own guilt or try to look good in court, he has made up stories about me and blown things waaaay out of proportion.. UGH!!!

[Tia]

{{{Lovely}}},

Sorry to hear this. Pride and lies do not go together. We're here for you.

Please keep us posted,
/Tia

[cat03]

oh jeez, sorry to hear that, Ihope the court sees your side hon))))

[Heartbroken]

Lovely Olive,

I must say you sitch has gone on FAR to long and I am so proud of how you have held it together. Continue to take the high road and it will turn out how it's meant to be...Shame on your STBXH - it's amazing how low these WAS can go. I wonder how he sleeps at night...

You have done everything right by you daughter and you will always be able to hold you head up high knowing how hard you tried for her - I give you so much credit. Hang in there - there is a light at the end of the tunnel (and no, it's not the train...)

;)HB

[karen43]

In regards to the above question.. Trust me.. he cares.. if only to alleviate his own guilt or try to look good in court, he has made up stories about me and blown things waaaay out of proportion.. UGH!!!

My H is like that too. I think it's kind of funny (in a sad way) that they have to make up stuff, because the truth is you're wonderful of course, and he has to make up bad stuff to say anything bad about you!

I do think though that it's REALLY obvious when someone is truthful and someone is lying like that, and I think people in the court system have seen this many, many times. So it will work out in the long run for you. And then, one thing I've thought is that b/c my H has done stuff like this, the cheating and lying and bad behaviors, I think instead of being sad like most people Ding, I'm going to have just a lot of relief afterwards. (((((((LO))))))))