If you are 100% sure, expose her for the whore she is and then kick her to the curb.
There is no need for you to worry yourself about her any longer. While she continues to lie and cheat behind your back there is nothing you can do anyway...and why would you want to?
You deserve more. You deserve better.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
Is there anywhere you can go so you are not there when she comes home....even if it is only for a couple of days. It sounds to me like you could do with cooling down away from this for a bit, so when you do see her you have a cool head.....and it might give her a shock not to find you at home.
This is no way to be treated.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I am afraid there's nowhere to go today as I have to do all of my laundry and get things organized for the week. WW has arranged for us to spend time with her sister on Tuesday - how sick is that? This veneer of normality covering up her depravity.
I spent the day with friends yesterday and they cooked me dinner and gave me some comfort. Then I sat and had drinks with W's father, brother and sister (see how depraved it all is?).
Actually, I might ring up some friends and see if I can stay somewhere tonight.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
Your wife has gone back to the role of child, and she has cast you as her Daddy. You support her financially and provide comfort to her so she can go out in the world and date and love....somebody else. And our Daddies are fine with it. But our husbands are not fine with it. You need to stop thinking of her as your wife. She is not adult enough to be a wife. She is a child. When you get done fighting for her you might just realize that the prize the winner gets here is no prize at all.
I have not posted to you before and just started reading about your situation. Don't really have much advice, just wanted to offer some words of support to you.
I am having a very bad time if it tonight, for different reasons than yours but could tell from your post how much you are hurting.
Anyway, you said you hope there is life after this. There just simply has to be, doesn't there? I was just wondering the same thing moments ago and then I read your words. This world is too big, with too much in it for there not to be life after this. I think it's just hard for us to see when our S's have filled our sights with pain.
Rambling a bit, I guess. Really just wanted to reach out and offer some support.
I feel like vomitting. I cannot believe she would do this when she and I share a home with her Dad. The deception is just unbelievable.
She even sent an email to me on Friday saying she's sorry she hasn't considered my feelings much in the last few months and that I should have just forcibly moved all of her things back into our old room - she would have done the same thing. Complete fog-babble.
She is just game playing. I feel like the entire 9 years we've had together are a total sham.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
I feel the same the same way my last 11 years were a sham. Reckon that's a common feeling. Well get over it.
You're right - she is game playing and has been for ages.
Hpw much of this crap are you going to take ? Is the situation moving towards a desireable resolution ? she is lying she is chearing and she has no remorse or consideration of you or your marriage.
You have to get the flock out of there and have nothing to do with her. It's probably the only way she is going to get a big enough jolt for her to see things in a clearer light.
You know GH....two wrongs don't make a right. Sometimes I think you put up with your W's bad behaviour as a way of making up for how she say's you used to be....it shouldn't be like that....not 'tit' for 'tat'. Don't be a doormat.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
W flew away for a trip with OM to ther far North of Australia. I met her yesterday before work and waited in her office for her. She had been sending me all kinds of text messages to deceive me but the more brazen they got, the more obvious it became that she was up to no good.
We spent the day together walking and talking.
I told her how I knew OM was in town and how - and she came clean about it all. I have also exposed this adultery to her family members and W seems somewhat resigned and even relieved about it. She said to me yesterday "I knew this situation would end badly".
W has asked how I could ever get past this and I have said I cannot do it without her help. I need NC in place with OM and complete and total transparency. Otherwise I will not get past it.
Quite frankly I have no idea how I can get past it at the moment, or even whether I want to get past it.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
