So, through DB-ing we have learned how to be independent and not to be needy and not to be controlling and not to "Mother" our Husbands.
So here is the problem.
My Husband has gained quite a bit of weight. He is actually about 30 pounds overweight, and his blood pressure is high.
I cook healthy meals, he has a gym membership, I bought vitamins.
I have given the schpiel of how his Dad died of Diabetes and I am worried about him. That I have worked my arse off to get our Marriage back on track and I am not going to lose my Husband again to some illness.
He doesn't want to go to the Doctor.
He said he is working on it.
I do not want to nag.
He is alone all day as the kids are in school and I am at work. As he works from home, nobody is here to monitor the fridge, or trips to McDonalds.
Any advice???
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
That is a tough one because even if you bought all the right foods, he could go out and head to the nearest fast food or whatever it is he loves to eat.
I don't think there is anything you can do since he is a grown man but I understand what you are saying--you have worked hard and you do not want to lose him again to his health issues.
Take the car keys away but not tell him???!!!!!
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi BND...great to see you are still posting!! I love seeing that you are still loyal to both God and your husband and family. Have missed this board and some of the other wonderful people who saved my life during my early days of standing.
I am still standing after 7 years. My husband is making noises about a separation, but I don't want to agree, so have a lawyer for the first time in this. Mostly though, I still have my faith in God - he saved my husband from a massive stroke in Oct. It should have been fatal and he improved in a miraculous way. Unfortunately, the other woman (who was drunk with him when the stroke happened) has more control than ever. He and I used to talk several times a week and that ended last summer. God has been there for me - by healing me several times over, by allowing me to live a purposeful life (in my own way) and by saving my husband's life until he gets his soul ready to meet God.
Hope some of the old-timers see my post - I noticed Naej and Missing Hubby and a few others who seemed fimiliar. I think of all of you often.
For anyone reading this who is suffering a loss of faith or hope as they suffer from adultery/addiction/abandonment: remember that our Lord suffered the utmost rejection when his own people decided to put him to death. As you think of that, know that he suffers with you for the terrible sins our spouses are committing. They do have free will - it's only logical - but we know that the Holy Spirit is working on them. They then face the greatest sin of all - rejection of God's mercy and love.
I have endured countless indignities and painful times due to my husband's and the owhore's actions. I just remember either to offer up my suffering for the conversion of my husband's soul and even ask God to turn her away from him. I get down lots of times, but do know that ultimately God is with me - and with him no one can be against me.
God bless and love to all - stand faithfully and you will be rewarded.
(Oh, can't offer much help with the weight on your husband - have my own struggles there. A kind word about how great a body he has when it's toned and healthy might work...)
I had no idea about your Hs stroke in Oct (at least I don't remember you posting about it) I'm glad to hear that he's improved dramatically...and that you're still fighting the battle.
I have no idea on what 'tricks' BND could use either. I DO know that men hate to be told to take care of themselves..generally. Usually, they already know that they're not living as healthy as they should. And suggestions and pleading usually don't do much to change their minds.
And you can't babysit them...they'll always find a way to sneak in the 'bad stuff', one way or the other.
I guess one idea might be to take a lot of photos. You know, just candid ones. If you 'accidentally' seem to snap alot of 'unattractive' ones of H that show the extra weight..without making any comments about it...and put up these photos around the house ( do it in a way where it looks 'normal', not like you had a photo shoot for a specific reason), he'll notice..I'll guarantee you. If he doesn't like what the camera shows, he'll do something about it. Just an idea.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
Hi Lib and BND. Sorry to hear about your H's stroke but pleased he made a full recovery. Maybe the move he is making towards a separation(how much more separated can you be though? he has been gone 7 years hasn't he) will work out ok. may make him finally realise all he is losing. You will just continue as you have been doing and life will be as it was. I hope you continue to do things for you and make your own live the best it can be. I know New Year is hard for you so hope now that's passed you will find some joy in your life again. Hope all the children and g/children are doing well. Take care.
I am sorry to hear of your h's stroke but God is always in control as you well know.
Thank you for sharing with us your struggles and your faith.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
So I found the FB 'fanclub for DB. What I'm not sure about is does that mean that everyone who has access to me via FB can now see that I might use this site?
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
