Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

[phbear316]

I have been over in newcomers for well over a year, and its time to move to this side, thanks to GM I am following in her footsteps.

I have heard this song on friday and cannot stop listening to it.

The main line i is sometimes goodbye is a second chance, and i so feel every single word of the song. This is my second chance to life to happiness.

I am moving in less than two weeks to my own place, since stbex cannot move towards divorce he is having his cake and eating it too. He spends 95% of his time with ow and her kids then comes home to have his laundry done and a place to sleep and get away from three kids.

I am done and moving on with my life. There is no hope in saving this marriage for I do not want to save it.

I need to move on and have to move on.

I know i tried my best to save my marriage but know that i was only one person in the pair of two that wanted to save this marriage. stbex does not wish and or want to save us. He is more interested in ow and kids.

The list is long of what stbex accused me of and not one makes sense to me. To make it short and simple my h accused me of not bettering myself in my career, not wanting to have children to then saying he did not want me to be the mother of any of his children via ours or adoption.

My heart is broken and some days i feel like i failed. But know I did not.

Stbex has to know I am getting ready to leave or he really does have his head up is a&^ and so in love with ow and being part of a family. My h has issues from his childhood I tried to help him with but now realize they were much deeper than I even realized.

I am looking forward to my freedom, to my new life, for I need to say goodbye to this marriage to give myself a second chance in life. I am done crying my tears, I want everyone to know that this is good for me and i will make it thru. I have done the best I can, but my life must go on. I am not angry, don't cry any tears for me. I am proud of what I am about to do. I never though It would happen. But it will on 11/28.

[Gypsy]

Hey Ms pooh..

Welcome aboard. Congratulations on your momentum forward. Along with separate living arrangements with the apartment.. what other steps are you taking?

You sound so good!

*hugs*

[phbear316]

Hi Ms. Gypsy!!!

I think my goals for now are moving out for me. Getting settled in the single life.

I have asked H for mediation about a month ago, I got no answer. So for a little while I need to save money for a lawyer to start the process.

My goal is to really let myself be happy, find some one to be happy with ( i know in time) just stop and enjoy life. Get rid of the sadness and replace it with happiness for thats what i and everyone else deserves.

Its been difficult to pack with h around since OW is away, but she must be home today for he went out at 11am to do payroll and its now close to midnight. I am tired of being played a fool by H.

but that needs and will stop, soon in a matter of days...and thanks I do feel good..thanks for noticing


hugs
bear

[LL44]

Hey ph bear. Are you moving this week?

[phbear316]

Hi lwb

No actually I just paid my last part of the dep/first month rent this am. So the date for me to get the key is 11/28 the day after thanksgiving...

I just changed my delivery date for furniture for saturday, since I don't know exactly what time I will be able to get the key post inspection.. WIth my luck I would have my furniture arrive at 9am and the inspector come for 10am.

So I hopefully will be able to move all the stuff from my house to the apt and then furniture on sat.

thanks for checking in with me

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

I found out via a very good source someone I trust with my life yesterday, my stbex's old partner that he confirmed that H and best friend did have an affair.

He says that stbex told him the truth.

I was angry, I was hurt, I was very upset. Please note the one key word WAS.

I allowed my self to cry, to be angry and upset last night. I woke up about 4am with a horrible pain in my stomach. I sat up and asked myself why are you letting this happen to you? Letting yourself beat yourself up. I got up got a glass of water, turned on the tv found one of those music channels and just listened to the music, I was sound asleep in like 10 minutes.

When the clock went off this am, I was totally fine. Why should I waste my tears on stbex.

God bless my friends who were there for me last night. My one friend was late coming to dinner and I was crying I did not want him to see me crying so I just said I will go and heat your plate and I guess he could tell in my voice something was wrong. He ran after me and was like whats wrong tell me. I told him, he was so sweet and supportive he gave me a huge hug. And he just said 10 more days baby!!

He is right 10 more days to my freedom, to my new life. I am so tired of crying tears and wasting energy on stbex. I am emotionally exhaused, over this. And I don't want to be anymore.

I felt and feel played a fool by H. But that will pass in time. I know it will

hugs
bear

[BobbiJo]

So sorry, it is painful to see someone you love(d) so much in such a negative light, I know it is for me...

Thinking of you and all of us in similar situations...

[phbear316]

Journal for me

I just find it totally amazing the disrespect that stbex now has for me. I woke up this am to a loud and totally understandable converstaion between xtbex and OW. Its truly amazing. love you miss you back and forth. One good thing is that he has been packing up his overnight bag so he will not be home tonight so my last weekend in the house will be mine, and mine alone.

I don't get it, his total lack of disrespect, Not one have i disrespected him. But he certainly has fun doing it to me.


hugs to all
bear

he has also been

[sgctxok]

Hi sweetie, checking in.

His loss. And a big one.

I wish you all the happiness in the world. Perhaps he will DB you back someday.

I hope you have a GREAT Thanksgiving!!!

sg

[Arthur]

Hi, read along in newcomers and you and GM are obvioussly great mates on here. Glad you are both moving on for yourselves.

GL