Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

[phbear316]

gm

Hi, yes I was quite surprised when my friend came back into my life, to such an extent.

I am a little worried about where this is going, i think I have in my mind my foot on the gas pedel pinned to the floor with a brick in my shoe. I don't want to have regret, we had a long text chat last night so we will see where its going to go.
I want more than just sex, i want to go out on a date, to the movies, to grab a bite to eat. I don't think that is a lot to ask...but I am keeping an open mind and we will just ride the ride for what it is.

Anger, sadness, guilt, all feeling going thru my head the past few days. I have to tell you I am truly tired of beating my self up.

thanks for you good wishes, waiting for cable today, going nuts with no tv. Never did i realize how much you miss something so silly till its gone. I never watch much tv but would always have it on in the background for noise.

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

Well did I get a slap in the face this am.

I was returning totes I borrowed to the house today

Well it did not take him long to replace me. Kids pictures are on the fridge, he went shopping bought a new tv, new rug, new kitchen stuff. Kids clothes in the basement. What gets me is she has her own house, so she came over with the kids sat, and they slept on the airmattress in the next room. wow

Then I went into the bedroom and saw her stuff on my dresser, and a note on the nightstand.

And he cleaned the house for her, the top of his nightstand and dresser were a disaster and I refused to clean or dust it, had to have a years worth of dust on it and I would not be the maid. Place is as clean as a whistle. Amazing

Someone told me she was at the house sat night. Took him one day to make herself comfortable. Well I hope they are and will be happy, they are sleeping in beds that were marital beds of others.

Like he is sleeping in her bed that she had with her ex, and she is sleeping in the marital bed he shared with me. WTF.

At least I did what i did on a brand new bed.

Anyway, i was angry, hurt, But I only let it get to me for a little while, my new friend was also very supportive when I told him.

Well, so this is how this is going to go..I need to face it and I am, and I let this pass, I willnot let it consume me or control me. We are done, there is nothing more, just papers to sign.

hugs
bear

[LL44]

Oh my gosh, phbear, that would have knocked me to the ground with anger and hurt. I am so very sorry!! What a loser he is, so pathetic. I can't believe he did that, allowed that, and welcomed it. He is disgusting.

I would have taken more things from the home.

Hugs phbear. Big ones.

Please don't fall into a new relationship just yet. Enjoy it, just don't get lost!

[phbear316]

lwb

Hi

To be honest I wanted to rip everything apart, I wanted to call him and scream at him, but you know what would it have gotten me NOTHING

He is pathetic, he is a loser, he is a sad story. If this makes him happy so be it. It was just proof today that I am gone out of his life, i have been replaced.

Yes i should have taken more, but I did not want it. I would rather struggle to make payments then take the old stuff into my new life. I am happy with my decision.

This will not last with H, Its amazing sat night she stayed at the house. Just 24 hrs after I was gone.

The new relationship is just that new, will it work, I don't know, how long it will last I don't know. He makes me happy, he makes me feel good about me. I am doing just that enjoying it. In a way I want to get lost in my happiness for its been so long. I almost had an anxiety attack when he kissed me. How sad is that.

Thanks for you hugs they are very much appreciated.

bear

[Reincarnated]

Ugh, lwb...please be very careful with your heart...
and his.

But of course, I care more about yours!

You were very restrained, and took the high road. That is why we can look ourselves in the mirror each day, without any mental gymnastics required!! How screwed up are these people?

[phbear316]

Correct

That was my goal the whole time to take the high road, and will always be on the high road.

I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the way I handled this whole thing.

Yes our spouses are screwed up, big time

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

I heard another good one today,

Good friend of mine, who works with me and stbex was talking to another co-worker who works for stbex and says, wow, I heard that ex finally forced wife (me) to sign the divorce papers two weeks ago, she refused adminately to the end.

My friend was not going to say a word bit his lip and said you know what, i need to clear the air here.

Bear (me) has not refused the divorce in fact for a long time we (my staff) did not know what was really going on, we knew something was wrong but did not know what. friend found out from where stbex works She took the high road and never talked bad bout him. She just moved out this past weekend cause he refused to move out or file or go to mediation, she could take it anymore the disrespect.

The other person just stood there and said, he lied to me/us he told us all it was her.

My friend just said you know there is more than one side to a story there are three, his side, her side and the truth and the truth lies on her side. Cause he is a big time liar and cheat.

amazing is all I can come up with right now. Amazing who is this alien person?

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

As time goes by I realize more and more I am good, I am happy in my decision to leave.

Days before I left I questioned was Idoing the right thing.

I had to get out to realize I did the right thing.

I went back for my mail today, and looked around my home, or what was my home. ITs cold, its all him and her. A charlie brown xmas tree, pictures of him and her together, on my old nightstand, Her stuff on my old dresser. key word my old. I got my mail and took the ice cream scooper and a few other things and walked out. I did not even get upset at all. Its cold and has no love. Just like what I feel for stbex no love, cold.

After Jan one I will try mediation again, if no then I will find a way to get the money to file. I want my freedom, I want my life back, I want to be me.

Kids pictures around, new mattress, (which makes me laugh so hard ow has back issues guess my old mattress what bothering her so he went and bought a new one, I have been asking for a new one for 4 years,but she gets it all)

She gets it all, all his issues, all his problems, all his unsolved childhood hangups.

Someone has come back into my life by chance, he is a good friend and one with benefits for now, there is an age difference and some cultural issues but you know I am just enjoying someone telling me I look nice today, and someone who wants to listen to what I have to say. I am not ashamed to date him now, he knows my marriage is over and there is no hope, and supports me with every thing, just like a good friend would do.

My old house is just that a house, my home now is my apt, which has given me my freedom, to make new memories, new happiness

I listened to a song from seal, loves devine, I felt every word was every feeling i have had. I had to find me again, and I am
every day is clearer than the last. I realized what it takes to heal me. It takes me, and love of myself

hugs
bear

[runningoutoftime]

Wow, you are an amazing person. I am so impressed with your patience and strength. Your husband is losing a rare jewel.

[klm]

Wow. I can't imagine going into my house and seeing pics of OW and her stuff there. She has some nerve especially since you two are still legally married. You have restraint that I don't have!

Glad you are making the new apartment home. I have finally moved into an apartment too and I feel so much freedom....isn't it great to be able to do whatever you want?!

This isn't what any of us had envisioned for ourselves but it is what it is and hopefully we can take the experience and make ourselves better, happier people.