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#1722645 02/23/09 07:30 PM
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There seems to be so many variations. Some fit, others don't. If I tried I may fit some of the symptoms.

I think I'm clutching at straws thinking it's a MLC just to help me make sense of what's happened. H says it not but then he would say that if he's just 'not sure' (I'm so tired of hearing those words) not sure, don't know, maybe, Oh I'm drained.

Maybe I'm a bad wife thinking like this and not supporting if it is that but while he whistles away without a care in the world my heart just breaks with sadness.

This is all so depressing and I'm only on week two. Think I've gone crazy trying to find answers.

Sorry for moaning


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
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Have you read the books or the resources?
Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy.
The resources are somewhere near the top and a good time killer trying to find them for you, and you're going to want to occupy your time anyway.

Quote:

(I'm so tired of hearing those words)


Yeah...about that. I willing to bet he's just as sick of you asking or trying to talk about it. So you should stop. Basic DBing 101 actually.

AND you don't really want to tell him he might be in a MLC...they tend not to like it. Its basically saying, "Hey you're [censored] up right now."

Read the books and the resources to get a batter grasp of the do's and don'ts.

Is it an MLC? <shrug> For me the confusion was always the key, if they didn't know what they wanted, weren't sure, kept you in limbo...then for me it was an MLC. If they dropped you and everything, basically gnawed off their own arm to get away from you...not likely an MLC.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Hey Regrets... i dont think you can really diagnose MLC...There are so many people that go through this same stuff. Its hard and we just have to decide how we are going to handle it. I understand being tired of hearing the "I dont knows" etc....I use to all the time...now its "Im so confused" all the time.

You are not a bad wife for thinking the way you do. Dont go crazy with the thoughts...come here and moan whenever you feel the need.


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
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Well I've only asked a total of two seperate nights one week apart. Not bad I think. Maybe I'm not allowing the books to sink in yet but hard to judge when not sure of the problem. Not saying it's easy for him either. And no, haven't suggested to him it's a MLC.

Thanks Kissak, I'm really hoping to get some sort of answers or outcome when he comes to MC with me.

He's behaving a normal except for the no affection, still making dinner, asking if I mind if he goe out at the weekend.

Think I need a good night's sleep.


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
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You're defending actions that normally have bad consequences. Let the books sink in.
I hope the MC does well for you.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Posts: 224
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Thank you

I just blew it there, he was chatting away about stuff without a care in the world and I said I'm so glad you're not suffering here. He looked quite hurt. I stopped myself and said sorry and he said it's ok. So civil.

He's setting up the MP4 player that he ordered weeks ago but gave me Sat.

I'm going to have a good, proper read at the book again tomorrow with fresh eyes and mind. I'm going to work on the resentment building up.


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids


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