Romans 8:28 has become my guide for this time. "And we know that all things work for good to those who love God and who have been called according to His purpose."
that's awesome! That's the verse I have written next to my computer!
And I'm so happy about your mom! and your mom is very right about how you've grown in the last year+. We ALL see it!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I believe there is no reason to tell the kids that he might not come home. That will only ruin their perception of him, and his homecoming. If that is the choice he makes when it happens, then I think you should discuss it at that time.
In regards to D17, I really believe that the biggest problem stems from her not receiving love in her way. Before you were with her all the time, giving her so much attention, but then things changed, and probably when she needed the most understanding, it was at a time where you were the most caught up with everything else, the kids, work, school, H, whatever and also under the assumption that she did not need you as much. It's easy to take focus away from the older ones when we assume that they don't need us anymore. Since reading the 5LL, at the end it talks about 5LL for kids. This is something I NEVER thought about before. I think it would be beneficial to see if you could figure our HER 5LL, and build on that. I think you guys could have a great relationship. And after that talk you had with her, I think that is a great start to a renewed R.
I know I must convict myself of not being there for my oldest as well, and I should probably learn from your experience so that our R doesn't break down in the future.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Thank you! Everyone in my church is praying for him in one way or another. It is so good to not have anyone counseling me toward a D. Instead, all are telling me to be faithful and allow God the time He needs to work things out.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
that is wonderful! It is so nice when people are supporting you
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Romans 8:28 has become my guide for this time. "And we know that all things work for good to those who love God and who have been called according to His purpose."
that's awesome! That's the verse I have written next to my computer!
And I'm so happy about your mom! and your mom is very right about how you've grown in the last year+. We ALL see it!
Crissy--
I have already told you about the convo with my sister and mom's baptism today so I won't repost them for you here. Maybe in an update post.
Thank you for the comments about how much I have changed. I do see some of it in myself and how I choose to interact with people now. I am glad that I am outwardly reflecting the grace God has put in my heart and soul.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I believe there is no reason to tell the kids that he might not come home. That will only ruin their perception of him, and his homecoming. If that is the choice he makes when it happens, then I think you should discuss it at that time.
In regards to D17, I really believe that the biggest problem stems from her not receiving love in her way. Before you were with her all the time, giving her so much attention, but then things changed, and probably when she needed the most understanding, it was at a time where you were the most caught up with everything else, the kids, work, school, H, whatever and also under the assumption that she did not need you as much. It's easy to take focus away from the older ones when we assume that they don't need us anymore. Since reading the 5LL, at the end it talks about 5LL for kids. This is something I NEVER thought about before. I think it would be beneficial to see if you could figure our HER 5LL, and build on that. I think you guys could have a great relationship. And after that talk you had with her, I think that is a great start to a renewed R.
I know I must convict myself of not being there for my oldest as well, and I should probably learn from your experience so that our R doesn't break down in the future.
Crissy--
Things between me and D17 improve constantly. I am going to get the LL book for children and see what I can figure out for all of the kids. I Do think it will have a positive impact on all of our relationships if I do that.
Yes, please, allow the problems I have had to serve as an example of areas where changes can and should be made. You have a great relationship with your boys and they are still young. Do what you can while you still have the opportunity!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
that is wonderful! It is so nice when people are supporting you
Yes, it is. I see so many here and in RL who are counseled by their church families to move on. I disagree with this position. AS Christians, it is our duty to show the mighty power of God's agape love for us and to live our lives as examples of that. I am truly grateful that the Holy Spirit has provided so many Godly people to provide me support while I stand for my marriage.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
