4 weeks ago, I and though H were very happy. Planning to emigrate next year, H just sold his business which he hated, moved to another job which he seems happy in. Hadn't slept well for a couple of weeks, blamed on work issues selling business
The bomb. am we m/l and cuddles all afternoon. I went out with a friend, came home, H shouts me up for a cuddle then an hour later said he doesn't love me.
Gone was the man who would text me the most loving words. We would go to bed together, kiss and just grab one another for a hug. He would tell me I made everything ok.
Yes, we had silly fights but never slept apart.
I've bit my tongue, not persued, he came to MC, started staying out all night, def no one else involved even E/A
Still making dinner and sending texts asking what I want, no affection. Won't tell me what is wrong, needs space so I give him space.
tonight he comes in, said it's not working. He seemed relieved and said he just wanted me to know where his head was.
I asked what was the problem, he said lots of things but can't put his finger on it.
Said I can't handle that he has been married before (I swear he has exaggerated it)
2 I'm never happy with shopping if he forgets something
3. I've been nasty in past when drunk
He said since selling the business, it cleared his head to realise that I was the problem. Not the business which he used to call in sick to all the time, text me constantly about how much he hated it.
He does seem happier at times but when talking to me looks sad and confused.
Am I in denial. He said I've been good wife?? that it's not just me but doesn't know what.
I asked why he didn't say something and he said he was trying to fix it himself.
I'm not perfect but oh my god, this is total bolt from the blue
Regrets HI. Sorry you find yourself here, but it is a good and safe place to come , vent and learn about MLC while you go through it Your story sounds typical for this board MY experience was similar Usually it happens all of a sudden the LBS knows nothing then the bomb they say MLC is a developmental stage and it has to do with unfinished childhood issues But The WAS blames the wife for his unhappiness my H said he wantwed to find his own map--didnt want to follow the norm anymore be aware and this is very important..many do not find out until too late watch and cover your finances Many of these was spend like no tomoorow I thought my H was different until 2 years into this he almost busted our business..if not for my Brother who works there, I would have lost it all So even though things may not be our of control yet financially..protect yourself credit cards, home, bank acoounts watch it all closely as far as your H try to just be supportive from what ive seen here and my experience, they almost always seem to have to leave to find themselves some return try to take care of yourself..I know how it hurts ..remember it isnt your fault you did not cause his MLC you cant stop it or control it you can only take control of you- thereapy may help for you right now MC may not help at this stage we went post bomb buit it was too alte, H was already one foot out the door good luck peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
thank you. I think he may leave tomorrow because I said he needs to try understand.
I just can't be sure if it is emlc
Everything apart from house is in his name. I just can't believe this is happening. I don't think he will want to leave the house because he loves it but I'm not leaving.
I thought I was ok but I'm not. I'm ashamed, guilty, scared, in denial. It's like he just won't shift.
maybe I was bad and did deserve this. I don't even know myself anymore.
I'll never get over this. I truly adore him. I feel used.
My mum had just recovered from breast cancer when he wanted to immigrate and still I was going to do it. We even made house plans. Now he is going to do all that with someone else.
I just want to hold him and tell him everything will be ok.
I'm so confused. He is now set up financially for life. He is going to gym but always did, going out with friends and enjoying himself. That doesn't sound like MLCm yey other aspects do.
Regrets It is very painful in the beginning as time goes on , the pain diminishes all the LBS seem to come out of this ok and better than before you will make it through
MLC takes a long time there are mlc resources-they are helpful and descibe mlc pretty well also read other posts and you will learn a great deal as for now all your feelings are normal It was not your fault just try to eat a little if you can get some sleep and ride with it try to stay busy read, talk to friends get a hobby time goes fast, even here peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
regrets did this just happen to you today? I am sorry you are here but this IS the best place to be, that said....God always comes first, so hang on to him.
I am freshly into this myself. I was married 20 years and my husband decided to get out. He cried more than I ever seen him crying. It has been since Sept. and I am soooo loney for him. He is living with ow now. I have gone dark and I am not contacting him at all but I want to so bad. We are also divorced. Hang in there, there are people here who can give you great advice! and help you thru this.
thank you I've lost 2o lbs, haven't eaten properly since it happened. mY whole body is twitching. I wonder if his friends hate me and told him to leave.
I thought I was strong.
This is the last person in the world I thought would do this. I thought we always had such a good time together.
We used to say we were lucky cos we were always laughing.
I'm worried that it is me and not MLC, he is not being nasty and no kids, drinking much more but tells me he is happy when not here.
He always used to say that men in his professions have a break down round about his age.
Wish he would wake up. My god, all I ever heard about was how his ex ran him down and how great I was for him. Now he is just saying the same about me.
I wish I had never know love. people should just put up a wall because no one ever means it.
If he can do this to me, anyone can.
He was smart, funny, popular, generous, loving, thoughtful, gentle. and I've lost him.
We have been all over the world helped out in charities in third world countries. SO MANY experiences that most people could ever dream about.
