I read your other thread last night. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I believe that my h also had a type of "early" mid life crisis thing. He had a total personality change. Nothing was good, nothing made him happy, work was horrible, life was horrible. Nevermind that you have 2 great kids, a wife, a roof over your head and food on the table. It was awful. I totally understand you feeling like it's not real and he will wake up to see what he's doing. I thought mine would too. He continued to make poor decisions, lie to me about stuff, and went so far as to try to buy a buisness behind my back. He lost his freaking mind. Then he would threaten to leave when he got mad. Well, I finally told him we needed to separate and so now it is all my fault. When men are in that state of mind, nothing will make them happy. You cannot make him happy. Just try to focus on yourself and make your life the best it can be. Thank goodness you guys don't have any kids, because they really lose in all of this. Best of luck.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Well he just came in and went straight to bed. I went in and said stop treating me like this. He said i'm sorry we'll speak in the morning, drunk. I said where were you? at hus friends. ?? I said what is wrong, and again he didn't know. I said are you depressed, stressed or MLC and he laighed, not in nasty way but laughed, I said is that funnier than falling out of love. I said I don't deserve this treatment I got today and if you want to leave leave.
I've had enough of not knowing.
Maybe he is only going to counselling for divorce pruposes or something. No idea
Well I've messed up and feel worse than ever. I went in to chat to him and we ended up m/l right in the middle of it he said I don't want to use you. after we both fell asleep for half an hour back to back. We then went for lunch and he hardly spoke. I know I shouldn't have but I said why do you still want to go to counselling and got don't know.
He said I don't want to use you? That doesn't sound good to me. I would pull way back if I were you. I think he's pretty much telling you that his feelings for you are not there. My h pretty much told me that yesterday too. So sorry. You and I deserve better treatment than we've been getting. Pull back and protect yourself. God forbid if you were to get pregnant while things are like this. That would be disaster.
I ML with my h several times after we separated too, and it stopped when he stopped trying and saying I love you. I already have two kids, and I don't need to get pg with a 3rd with this man. If you read my thread "devestated" it is going down hill as well. We can't make men care that appearantly have decided that they don't. We deserve better. Best wishes. Feel free to post to me.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
God what is wrong with me today. Keep pushing saying stuff like, you can tell me, I'll survive, blah blah. He gets more and more stressed and now i've convinced him to speak with his sister.
I was so sure it was depression or EMLC because it happened so suddenly.
I said to him as far as I'm concerned we are married and I want you to respect that.
I said I wanted to try save our marriage through counselling and he said he did too, didn't sound convinced mind you. Why can't he say to me alone without the counsellor?
I said that was fine but no point going to counsellor and then slipping back to acting like single man.
I said you need to try. I said about sex and he said we'll see how it goes.
I'm so sick of hearing now is not the right time, i'm tired and hung over.
Argggggg I even asked him if he had been to a lawyer. He said no and I said because that's way down the line. He just nodded. Og i'm messing it all up today.
My friend last night said that you get more money for adultry and that is why he denies affair. I'm not sure that is true though. Surely not? Also found viagra packet in his jeans. I asked him and he started laughing and said one of the guys game him it ages ago. He looked me straight in the eye then said I promise. He held me tight and said I promise that is the truth
You need to find a poster ' puppy dog tails' he will give you straight sensible advice.
In the meantime get the books Divorce busing and Divorce rescue and read. Do not engage in any more R talks until you are straight with what you have to do.
