Went over to see her on Sunday. First thing I got told when I walked in was that she had fallen out with me in a big way. I hadn't been in touch, I was selfish, I had not even enquired about her. My W had been marvellous and very helpful and what was all this about someone else in my life?. That is only the tip of the iceberg of insults she threw at me...
Needless to say I was a little taken aback. I had 2 choices, tell her that I wasn't putting up with that and leave, or explain my side. I decided that I would stay. Main reason being is that here was a woman that had been basically told to go home and die, and I was someone close to her and the anger was partly her feelings about me and partly about herself.
I explained that I had only found out the truth about her the week before and had actually tried to ring but there was no answer. I explained that I had moved on and that W had actually told me to "find someone to love me as she couldn't". I also explained that I was upset and felt bad that I had been kept in the dark about her. MIL told me that W NEVER calls me names or bad mouths me. Well maybe not directly, but surely moaning about my life as it is now isn't painting a pretty picture of me!! MIL also confirmed to me that W did NOT leave me for another man, she was SURE of that. There may be one now,(bit of a slip of the tongue by her there) but it's not the same one. I know for certain that if there was one, it's the same one, but refuse to tell MIL that as it would upset her too much)
I was there for about 20 mins total and before I left, I asked for a hug. She agreed and then apologised for being nasty to me. I told her that I appreciated her telling me how she felt and that I wouldn't have it any other way. Also that anything between W and I would not be of concern to her as she had enough to deal with. I told her I would keep in touch and have always loved her.
I left on good terms and will be calling back soon.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about the sitch....
Why is W so selfish that she upsets her mother with her feelings about herself?
Why can't she just talk to me about things instead of behind my back?
Why isn't she letting me live my life now? Is she now feeling hurt by my actions as I was by hers? (If so, then her loss)
Poor MIL having a daughter trying to play the victim card for her own reasons instead of thinking about MIL's feelings. (it would seem that W is trying to make herslf appear the hard done to and good one in all the mess she created)
Well bit of a shocker at first, but I feel for MIL in a big way. She has had enough now and just wants to go. I will do as I said and try to leave her mind at peace as much as possible.
The above has really served to confirm to me that W is still in very selfish mode, is not the person I was happily married to for so many years and that I am better off away from her.
Sorry about MIL, but the W stuff doesn't shock me. Just goes to prove that after they turn into this 'other' person nothing is consistant. Not even their character.
Glad you got to clear the air with MIL.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
We have had some lovely weather here and I have taken advantage by strolling around a lake (2.5miles) for the last few days taking in all the best that Mother Nature has to give :D.
I have also reminded myself about what I received from my MIL for my 50th birthday on New Year's Eve. ZILCH! NADA! NOTHING! not a card, a call or anything. Now I have to forget all that and be true to myself and keep in touch. It makes me feel better though, being on the moral high ground. In fact, since D-Day I have heard nothing from MIL unless I called or visited her (which I have done frequently). Now I am the heartless one and W is smelling of roses....seems like the selfish gene runs strong in their family.
Oh how happy I am to be me and not them. Much more fun to give than to receive.
I agree, Silva - I don't even get bothered anymore by this kind of junk. I smile and say kind words, and walk away. Even sometimes seething inside, but it ALWAYS comes back for good for me!
Checking in Silva. Hope you are doing well. I got a little set back.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
