The funeral is on Monday next week. I had told W to let me know personally and then we could meet beforehand to 'clear the air' so to speak, but I got a text from S21 telling me. Seems she is not bothered about meeting. Shame, but I am not going to push it. She has enough to sort out at the moment.
I will see her at Uncle's funeral on Thursday so maybe we can have a little talk then.
Had a call from my best friend yesterday, he lost his mum last week as well.
Called W tonight, there was a lot of vitriol in the first hour but we spent 2 hours talking and sorted everything out. We actually reminisced and laughed about the past. It was a 'cleansing' time.
Monday will now be a LOT easier....We have agreed to be 'friendly'...I told W I would not be her friend....either husband or nothing, but that didn't mean we can't be civil.
I feel a LOT better now....Note to others....when things are easier, make that call, don't wait for them, do the right thing. It will be worth it in the long run and you will know when the time is right.
I agree with you about making that call when ready. My stitch is turning out different from your but I responded to a call from my H when I was ready and it made all the difference. We wouldn't be where we are now.
Glad for you that things seem more settled for you. You have come a long way yourself from the man I first talked to in Jan.
W was at uncle's funeral yesterday with our boys. (I couldn't go) During the after service meal and drinks, they were discussing the fact that I may soon get kicked out of my house for financial reasons. Turns out that W told S21 that he could take the sofa she left when she ran off!!! :0 Would have been nice to be consulted on that one!
I tell you, they become a law unto themselves...good grief!
Sorry your W is being a pain. Can't figure that one out. Thought I had sent you a post but I don't see it. Can't remember what it was but it was funny.
Just got back from MIL's funeral. The service was lovely and mentioned that she was a great MIL to me. That was a nice touch put in by W. I thanked her for that.
At the after service buffet, I had to make my excuses and leave as our 2 boys were being introduced to relatives as 'W's' sons even with me standing there. That was a bit upsetting for me, but I didn't want say anything so just slipped out of the door after saying ' be happy' to W.
I'll pop over to your thread Kass and see if I can help.
Thanks for your post. If you read the follow up, things are coming along and not so hard. I do wonder about the long term, I have looked at my choices and right now this is it. So, here I am to take a swing, relax and enjoy myself.
H seems to be aware of how he hurt me and it bothers him. Most of the time it is not in front of me, but there are times when I see it on his face and he just tells me. Good part is that he really is trying to get most of his support from AA buddies and just wants to enjoy our time. He made a point of telling me that he doesn't want to put me in that position because he wants to ease my burden after all he did.
It is a tough decision for me - I can read between your lines - I know I have choices - earlier this year I became strong enough to see a life without him - it was just at that point when he had a major breakthrough - I kind of wonder about the timing so I am still here. And just as you consider my sitch carefully, so do I. I still get frustrated, and I need to chill more.
This is just a difficult time all the way around - earlier this year both exMIL and exFIL died in Jan, my SIL is dying as we speak, my bro won't talk about it or call me, my kids are moving out and forward and current MIL has reached a time when she doesn't remember who we are anymore. So, there's a lot of loss around me, always has been so I am not so keen on making a lot of changes - personally I am afraid that I would withdraw from living my life out fully if left alone right now. I see changes in me that I am wary of due mostly I assume to getting older.
I am sorry this is long, just feel like talking to someone. There are some things I used to dream about doing at this age, but I never expected to feel as tired and lacking in energy to do them as I do. And yet, through my experience I have developed a greater compassion and tolerance/acceptance of all that life brings us and less of a need to know the answers. So, it's not perfect, but I am ok. TAke another swing around the room.
I think this may just be the final post in my saga on here....
I have now been, thanks to the failing of my business, made bankrupt. I have a house that I am about to lose and no assets. Not much to show for 50 years of life.
However, I have a happy outlook, a new place to start from and a great chance to rebuild my life from the ground up.
I have a new job, the best one I have had for years, a new love of my life, again, the best one I have had for years and a mindset full of optimism.
There was a time when I felt bitter about what has happened over the last year, when I would have taken half my W's inheritance out of spite, not anymore though. I have learned SO much about myself, relationships and people in general recently that I have no desire to put negative energy back into my life.
I am walking away from my old self and picking up speed into my new self. The remainders from my old life are great as well...a lot of happy memories of the good times, 2 wonderful sons and a wealth of experience.
Never let anyone tell you that things are bad, they are just different.
Onwards and upwards....
Thanks to EVERYONE on here that has supported me, helped me, listened to me and also allowed me to give them a little help i return. You have been great.
I will still pop in from now and again and check on whoever is still here.
Well, Silva, how can I say good bye - you have been the best! I have said it before - I don't think I would be where I am without you - I think this was supposed to happen. My wishes for all the best of life and have a happily ever after for us all who cheered for YOU! I think you did what you needed to do. Who said growing pains don't hurt? I will be here until H moves back in for myself. Stop by and say hi once in a while.
