Today I got the final D papers in the post. I was very sad. It hurt but it didn't hurt as much as when I received them the first time two months after H left.
The strange thing was that H called me very early in the morning telling me that he has some medical problems and needs to see a doctor. He asked me whether I did the thing for him I was supposed to do. He sounded very unhappy. - He does not know yet that the D is final.
I was glad that I had organized something for tonight so I did not think about the D too often. I went to an annual event of the social club of which I sometimes attend the monthly meetings. It was fun and I am getting to know a few people.
Yesterday I thought I should write one more time to "my sailor" asking him if he is still interested in seeing me or not anymore. I was surprised to receive an email from him just before I went out saying that he only just received my e-mail and that he would like to meet me but he is going away for the weekend and that he would call me.
Since I already had some other plans for Friday I had to tell the guy who wanted to see me on that day. Now that was cancelled but unfortunately, the guy already made other plans in the meantime. I should see him either Sunday or then some time next week.
On Saturday I will meet yet another guy who doesn't live far away from me. He likes to go hiking.
TL sorry to hear that the D is final. I am sure those papers were hard to take. Not that you didn't know they were coming, but it makes it all so very real now.
Continue on for you. It sounds like you are having some fun dating right now. Good for you!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
hey TL, im so sorry for you. allow yourself to grieve you are always there for everyone....what can we do for you?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Thank you for your kind words and empathy. When I have company I seem to forget my sorrow for a while.
The worst time for me are the nights just before getting to sleep. Then a lot of stuff is suddenly on my mind and sometimes I just cannot fall asleep. I keep thinking that I would rather be with H than getting to know a total stranger, although it is quite fun to meet so many different people. But meeting someone and living with somebody are two totally different things.
I was quite ok this evening since I went out with one of my GFs. We went to a place where they have live music on Fridays. We were there once before but tonight the music was just fantastic. The band played music from the 70s and 80s such as Deep Purple, Pink Floid etc.
There were also lots of men on their own and THREE flirted with me. I tried to flirt back. One of them even waved goodbye! It was fun and it made me feel quite good. Lately I keep looking in the mirror and thinking that I have aged a lot since H left.
Anyway, I am looking forward to meeting the "hiker" tomorrow.
I spent quite a pleasant afternoon with the "hiker". We went hiking for over two hours and went for a coffee afterwards. He is quite a nice chap and not bad looking either. But he has strange habits and he told me that he never goes out on his own and hardly ever goes to the theatre. He would come along though.
He would like to see me again but frankly, I cannot imagine that we have anything in common apart from hiking. He was never married and had several relationships. That is not a very good sign for me. When he asked me about my R I told him that my XH and I were together for over 30 years.
I called my XMIL today. We chatted for quite a while and she told me that she has not heard from my XH since November! Apparently, XH writes to his siblings but rarely and only one to two sentences. I told her about the withdrawal stage and that he is not the only one acting like this. She said that he must have childhood issues probably resulting from his R with his father, and that he needs help. I told her that he has to hit bottom and to find out for himself that he needs help. I also told her that the D is final.
XMIL also told me that I should live in the present and enjoy life. One only gets one shot at it. I told her that I met a lot of nice people lately and that I am going out often.
I need to go to bed early tonight since yesterday I got to sleep very late. I went to bed late and was just not able to fall asleep.
True, I'm very sorry to read that you received the divorce papers in the mail. That's a terrible way to find out. Wonder when your xh will receive his? Now, you do not need to deal w/him....only at your leisure if you want to.
Friends, company, etc., will help to take your mind off of what has transpired. Please give yourself some time to adjust to being "single" once again. I know you've been on your own for quite a while, but the actual status may make you think differently for a bit.
I do hope that you are living in the present and enjoying each day as it comes. True, you deserve so much more in life.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi. I'm new on this board, but I can somewhat understand how you feel. I posted my situation on here today. My h and I will be filling out the d papers this coming week. It makes me feel ill and I also have sleep problems. It still hurts, even if you are expecting it or know that it's probably for the best. I can imagine how you are feeling. Be strong.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I guess H will receive the final D papers in a week or so. I hope his medical problems will be better by then.
Today was very nice and sunny early in the morning but by 11 am it was overcast again. First I thought I would like to go for a walk with one of my GFs, but then it looked like rain and I cancelled. I did a few things in the house instead.
