OK, I talked with my H's attn today. She told me H has a retirement acct that I did not know about. He had it before we were married and he led me to believe he comingled it with our 401K acct. Apparantly, he did not.
He asked me if I was going to sign his settlement agreement. When I said I would not sign anything until he sits down with me like a man, he said he wouldn't.
I know I can't make him, but does that say anything about the person (or is he just a monster)?
Well, I guess it was about his actions, but now it's about both. I must be really really stupid. He did tell me that I was pretty naive, and not very smart, and now I believe him. I must be an idiot or else extremely gullible. I trusted him 100 percent. Now I feel like the fool he played me for. I know people say he probably loved me in the beginning, and he even said to me today, that he doesn't hate me. But he has not agreed to see me in a year.
I would try to separate the money issue and the emotional issue and work out how you will deal with them. I can't advise you on the money issue, I would just say make sure you protect yourself.
It sounds like it would be a 180 for you if you were strong on the issue. It might be that you have to let go of seeing him to discuss and just deal solely with the matter in hand through your lawyer.
Look at it this way, will meeting with your h to discuss it bring you closer to reconciling (I take it that is what you want?). Or, if not will you get what you need by meeting him?
And no, you are not stupid. We trust them and sometimes that trust is abused or misplaced. It is not wrong to trust someone, my rule is that it is fine to believe someone until they start taking the mickey. How could you have known about the account if he didn't tell you or chose to mislead you? That is not you being naive or idiotic.
