Wow Karen...just stumbled upon your sitch. I am so sorry to hear everything you are going through. I was/am in a similar sitch regarding the kids. H hardly spent anytime with our daugter until right before we were going to go to mediation. Then he wanted her overnight, extra days, blah blah blah. But, he didn't contact me between visits, he wouldn't come see her during the week at my house or as her daycare. That's when I realized that he was doing it for show. Document EVERY minute he is with them. We went to mediation. I got everything I wanted. Then we went to court and he has her every other weekend. But, he isn't taking her everyother weekend. He even asked for 50/50 and told me flat out that it was because the CS would be reduced. Do NOT be afraid to speak up at the mediation. Ask for what you want and have valid reasons. I was smart enough to put in there that I wanted first right of refusal. Which means, if there is a time when he can't be with the children for any length of time, he has to call me and give me the opportunity to have them before he pawns them off on someone else or leaves them alone all day. Something to think about. If you have questions, come on over to newcomers and ask. I'll answer anything the best way I can. I am not a newbie. I've been here the same amount of time as you. H left me 6 weeks preg, moved in with OW (that he had known for 4 weeks) and her two boys, she paid for EVERYTHING, he got her preg when I was giving birth basically, he got fired in Dec, they had a son in March that looks NOTHING like H, he pays no CS even though he is ordered to and we are STILL going through this divorce. Should be done by end of the month.
Good luck to you and I hope your Kidney stone isn't too horrible.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Oh, I'm ok. Ultrasound went well, but she wouldn't tell me anything. I said can you one blink for yes, 2 for no or something like that? But no. Have to wait for the drs office to call. The initial dr. I saw thought it is a kidneystone, but hopefully the ultrasound will help determine if it's that or something else. It's been a week now!
Oh, I was supposed to meet the with tester/evaluator of the kids Monday am. Well, as it turns out, it was the 1st week of VBS & theatre camp and I registered her for those and helped her find her group (instead of separating by ages, they mixed them up and put them into tribes). They were both at the same time and I couldn't do both, so I chose D9. And I think that was the right choice. The evaluator couldn't reschedule until the 19th. But apparently she did meet with H.
My L emailed that H's L emailed and said he got the evaluation and wants to schedule mediation. Actually, the tester/evaluator said she didn't have time beforehand, so was going to ask ?s of us to finish the behavioral portion of the testing. I will do that the 19th. I asked my L to please set the mediation for until after I get the complete report. Isn't that common sense or something? Karen
Yes but since when has he had common sense?? Hope you are feeling better and that the dr gets back with you quickly. Got to make dinner but I will check in on you later.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Just stopping by to say I feel for you with what H is doing. Worry about your health first. Hope you are feeling better soon. Then you can get back on the Crap Patrol with H.
Last edited by lost_in_space; 06/03/0903:53 AM.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
I am feeling ok, Sue. Hopefully tomorrow or Friday, they'll call me and I'm hoping they'll give me some antibiotics or something and I'll be good to go.
Thanks for dropping by all. Randy, good to see you! Yep, Crap Patrol is a good word!
The L called today and mediation is June 29th at 1:30pm. I don't think H is going to agree to much of anything except maybe custody (which I know is huge). But I predict he won't want to give much if any alimony and wants public school. So we'll have to go to final hearing I would thing to resolve those.
Can't remember if I said but one of the supervisors said yesterday they're going to evaluate me June 12th and something like we'll see if it's working out. That made me very stressed, but they continue every day to keep training me. They were having me fill out purchase requisitions today so would they bother if they were going to fire me next week. Or maybe that was a test to see if I could do it? I didn't have any problems.
I figured out I work 16 hours a week, and on the 12th I'll have about 48 hours of working there in. If I was a full-time employee that would be about 6 days of working there. Who evaluates you that quickly? Plus, I haven't worked in an office for 9.5 years and I'm warming up, but I was a bit rusty esp. the first week or 2, plus I moved that week. So I'm trying to be calm about that, but it's hard when it'll be tough to pay bills. But luckily I have already turned in some applications for weekend jobs, so I'll keep doing that. Karen
I think you will be fine...all the way around. Your job will be good, your "stone" will pass or break up or whatever and as for your H, I truly hope someone with authority in these matters tells him to get his head out of his azz and you WILL be paying Karen much more than you have ever calculated you sorry POS!!!
Some men just bother me as of late. If my ex wasn't olive complected I would think he was related to your H!! I am over in the alternate reality if you want to catch up.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hey Karen, glad to hear you're doing okay. I don't know how the court system works in Florida, but here..custody mediation and financial mediation are two separate appointments. Just remember to relax. Write out a list of things you want or you want to discuss and any questions you have. That will be the time to sort out as much as you can. Make sure you have valid points and reasons for what you want. If you leave it up to a judge, they tend to be very generic. Mediation is the best place to set up the custody, the way YOU want it.
Good luck.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Hope everyone's doing well. I've been busy this past week. Still haven't gotten the results from the ultrasound yet. My dr. doesn't work on Fridays so when I called they said to call back Monday.
I had a fun time today. D9's VBS ended and they did a presentation, basically sang for half an hour the songs they learned this week. Very cute kids. Then spent the afternoon at theatre camp with D9 and I was the "dyemaster" they called me, helping the kids tie-dye tshirts today. They came out great too! Pretty much a perfect day. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Karen
