So I'm off to get ready.. feeling extremely nervous for some reason, lost all my confidence. I think this is because pressure of expectation has been building since my friend texted to tell me he loved me and wanted to come back to me..and becuase he didnt follow up his original invite/comment with a phonecall, like he said he would (typical) to tell me if he was going or not tonight (or see if I am going, guess he assumes I will be!)...but then of course he did ring ME Tuesday and mention it and I gather from Cher its all on tonight!
Its just more of the same.. me on the backfoot, him holding all the cards...
I am not intending to get into any R talk or do any crying, as we didnt last time I saw him back home, hopefully it will just be a fun night out with friends. There are 6 of us going afterall I think, so thats good!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
You may have already gone, but please don't think he holds all the cards. You have in your hands the cards that yes, I want to build a better life with you or no, I just can't do this again. You are in control. Have a lovely time and the stars will take care of themselves!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well.. I got my confidence back within an hour of him arriving, so that was good!.. made him laugh alot, pretty much throughout the evening.. at one point, he was lent back in his chair, head thrown back, laughing out loud.. the rest of the table stopped talking to stare!!! And then my joke kicked in some more and he laughed even harder! Must have looked impressive! Me and him talked ALOT.. so wierd, its like we are getting to know each other again.. somehow, we manage to find little stories, anecdotes that neither have heard (or forgotton down the years?) and he'll say, I dont think I've told you this.. or I'll say when was that, oh a few years ago.. its wierd, but its what the DB coach said it would be like.
So it was me, ex, Cher and G and their friend (who spent much of the evening mingling elsewhere, being a gooseberry).. so it was like a normal evening out with two couples, LOTS of chat and laughter (no tears!). At the end of the evening, ex and G disappeared for 20 minutes at the bar (talking).. when they came back, my ex immediately said "sorry about that Al, we got gasbagging.." as he sat down next to me. Wow, how wierd?? We are not together!! He doesnt have to say stuff like that.. I wonder what they were talking about? Hmm... I dont even know if Helen is toast yet, or not!
The good thing was, apart from all the laughter, we sat next to each other, chairs turned in and I was the person he spoke most to all evening, like we were a couple. He just seemed like he was 'with' me, so odd, like we are acting like a couple when they first meet. But..at the same time, no sign from him that we ARE getting back together, nothing personal or suggestive said or even insinuated at all. I talked to him about my art (dont normally wierdly, I thikn its a guilt thing on his part) and he straight away offered to lend me a small ipod I need. I wasnt going to ask, as it was given to him and engraved by BMF for being best man !! So that was nice. I told him I need it soon (within days/a week)and he was cool with that.. and I forgot his post but he was cool about that too.. so I assume I will be seeing him again soon to sort those things out.
So at the end of the night, we all got into cars and left, so no time to get sad, or have an R talk or do any crying!! He did hug me though and said slightly 'matey ish' see ya Al, take care.. but then added, I'll speak to you soon.. I said ok and we hugged a while.. then he said it again.. then he got in the car and waved and pulled a sweet, sad (dont want to go really?) face and said for the third time, speak to you soon.. then as he drove past, waved again.
The bad thing was.. he looked absolutely gorgeous, is back to his old sweet self (the week away with friends and old family has done him good, or maybe getting rid of Helen???) he is more relaxed, happier, slim and trim and suntanned from being on site.. and although my Mum advised me to 'keep a bit back'.. I thikn I was googley eyed at him all evening..I am just in love with this man and had SUCH a lovely evening.. I cried all the way home!!!
As I stayed up late just to read this! Sounds like a great night, so pleased for you. Didn't the others know about Helen? You would think someone might had slipped you the nod if they knew you usually are kept in the loop.
I can go to bed a happy girl for you now. I hope they were tears of joy and not frustration you cried. Plenty to mull over I guess. ((()))
Wow.. just realised.. I am so lucky. We've been apart 17 months he was with (is with?) someone else for 7 months and yet.. he invited me out for a drink and sat and talked to me all night!!!! What a lucky girl I am.. and tried to buy me drinks.. in fact, when I went to the bar to get a round (a 180 for me!) he followed me and INSISTED on giving me the money for his pint!! He was concerned about my finances (wonder if G told him he gave me �20 for food last week?). So really, it was a very different evening than we've had for a long long time.. just felt more relaxed and natural and I made sure to smile all evening.
The other thing was .. he DID ring me (YAY!) before I left, for a bit of a chat and to see if I was still going. But he was debating whether to come or not.. seemed to hinge on where he would sleep..like he was trying to find out, who was going to have the spare room.. he was asking me my plans, was I meeting them there, was I driving... It was a VERY wierd conversation.. G is his BF, he didnt need to know if I was going, or what I was doing, he was meeting G! So I guess on reflection, he seems to be ...dare I say it...
