Magnificent

[MichelleLT]

That was a brilliant and very moving thing your mom did.

Glad you had a nice weekend and enjoyed the movie and family time.

I concur that you do better when you don't interact with Gabe. And keeping that to a minimum is of course good.

I know I've said it before and sound like a broken record..but Gabe owes you, so don't feel like you are dependent on him when you ask him to do things! He owes you tons of money and he can work it off! He's NOT doing you a favor, he's giving you things directly instead of giving you the money to do them yourself.

(((((((Michelle)))))))

[Kalni]

Bought second book, there is one more here translated. When do they "mix", bruise and bite? In the fourth one?
S

[limbo]

I haven't posted to you before, but wanted to chime in on the british sitcoms to look for...one on my favorites is the Vicar of Dibley, its very funny! And another old one is chef!!

Also saw that you like depeche mode, I am going to see them on Friday!!! Great band!!

I was reading your thread, and you seem to me to be a wonderfully strong women! and you are doing a great job!

[Reincarnated]

Mish -
You sound SO good. Seems that your mom was and is able to help out more than you expected; I'm glad that she saw this and stood up to help out.
Your movie night sounded like fun, and the bike ride, to boot!

[mishka422]

I'm doing MUCH MUCH better y'all! Thank you so much for not abandoning me when I get in a total funk! Life is much less lonely with all of you around.

I felt so sad for a client of mine today. I talk to this man at least once every two weeks booking his business trips. This last year has been total he!! for him. About 6 months ago his father had a heart attack quickly followed by a broken hip when he tried to get out of bed too soon after bypass surgery, his mother has had 3 major back surgeries in 4 months, his sister had a massive stroke 5 weeks ago that has left her in a semi-vegitative state and institutionalized for the rest of her life at the age of 39, and now his wife call him last week while he was on a business trip and told him she 'wants space and not to contact her'. He was upset about it but thought he could work it out with her after she got her space. Now he has found out that she has been having an affair with someone she works with. How did he find out? He was driving down the street and saw his company car parked in a parking lot (she was driving it) and went over to investigate the car and found her and her lover in the back seat. She promptly filed for D and he says there is no way he's taking her back.

Another M bites the dust. He is going to DivorceCare at his church and I told him it saved my life so he is glad to know that it is helpful and not just a b!tch session. I'm debating on telling him about this site since he seems so adamant about not working things out. After the initial shock wears off maybe he'll change his mind about that. He said she is the absolute love of his life. This was his second M after he had been M'd to his first wife for 16 years. That M ended amicably just because they grew so far apart and neither was happy but there was no betrayal involved.

Do you think I should even tell him or leave it be unless he mentions something about wanting to work it out?

[kat727]

I would say mention it because even if he decides to not save his mariage it will let him see options and some of the issues he will face because of the betrayal.

Glad to hear that you are doing better. Life always likes to throw us curve balls and heaven knows that I am a lousy batter! LOL Hope you can continue to hit your share!

kat

[MichelleLT]

Can't hurt to mention it w/o pressure.

I mentioned these books to a co-worker of mine whose W wants a D.

It's up to them whether they try it or not.

Life always likes to throw us curve balls and heaven knows that I am a lousy batter! LOL Hope you can continue to hit your share!

That explains a lot! LOL

[ernest88]

Do you think I should even tell him or leave it be unless he mentions something about wanting to work it out?

I say mention it...

the man needs a VOR

and we need some noobs to beat up on

[mishka422]

I passed the information along to him. You're right, it can't hurt. I made sure to tell him that the information he gets from the books and the site would be useful in his own personal growth and interactions with his W, not strictly for rebuilding the M. I hope it helps. I feel so bad for him. He loves his W deeply.

I had a good chuckle to myself last night.

First, I ordered pizza for dinner.....BAD move. I love pizza and it's something I should NEVER eat. Oh well, after the 3rd slice I stopped myself and put on my bike clothes, loaded the bike and drove over to some good grounds to ride for an hour. I don't think it was enough to burn off the pizza, but it definitely burned some. Maybe a slice. I stopped off at the grocery I work at to get my schedule for the upcoming week and found they gave me 20 hours! YIKE! Are they trying to kill me? On top of my 45 hours at my regular job? Eek! Anyway, I had to text Gabe to ask him if he would take Marc to karate Monday and Tuesday since I have to work and I'll take him Wednesday. He responded, "Sure, no prob." and that was that. Until...this is where the chuckle came in....he texted again to ask if I had plans with Marc tonight. I just answered Yes. No details...he doesn't deserve any. You see, this is the weekend where we are switching up who gets what weekend because he and the broom are splitting up the weekends. He told me he wanted to have Marc for the evening because they were taking her son to a movie and thought it would be nice for Marc to be there too. Hmmmm...too bad. You wanted the boys separated, they are. I made plans to have a carpet picnic/movie night with Marc. He's excited about it. It just made me laugh a little to know that he's already wanting to undo what he decided. The man is so wishy washy.

Anyway....glad I don't have to see him, talk to him, or deal with him general.

Lots of work this weekend so I probably won't be around much. Hope you all make it a great one! Think of me toiling away while your floating in the pool/lake/ocean.....:)

[mishka422]

OK....spoke to soon...DANG IT!

I had left my cell phone at home this morning. When I got home at lunch Marc met me in the kitchen with the news that he changed his mind and is going to the movie with his dad tonight. Ummm......he knew about this why? Gabe had apparently already told him about it before he asked me if I had plans with him. Tonight was the only time in the next week I was going to have to spend with him and his dad is taking it away from me? NO! It's my darned weekend and he doesn't get to do that! I did a pretty good job of hiding my upset from Marc but I asked him if he was sure because it was the only time I was going to have for a while. He said yes.

What made this worse? I picked up my phone and there was a text from Gabe asking me what I was doing with Marc tonight. Excuse me? He doesn't need to know. Again....MY WEEKEND. I don't ask him what he's doing with Marc when it's his time. I was ticked off big time since Marc changed his mind so my response?

M-Apparently nothing now. Thanks a lot for telling him you're taking him to a movie before you cleared it with me. Now the plans are shot. When it's NOT your weekend you don't get to just take time away from me. I have very little time I can spend with him and you have all the time in the world right now. I ask nothing of you. The least you could do is respect my time with my son.

Gabe called me several times after that but I ignored the call because I knew I'd blow my stack at him.

G-If u answer ur phone I can explain the situation better so u wont flip out for no reason.

M-I'm not flipping out. Just really disappointed that the one night I had to spend doing something fun with marc has been trampled. I could talk forever but you still won't hear me. No point.

G-whatever or however marc told u apparently u got it and took it totally different. call me if u want it straight.

M-I changed my mind and want to go see the movie at the ampitheater tonight is pretty clear. I work 65 hours a week so it's pretty impossible to do much with him. I will call you on my way back to work.

Yes, I went a little berserk, but this all goes back to what he has done over and over regarding plans with Marc without consulting me first.

When I called him I told him that as far as Marc was concerned the plans were sealed the second Gabe mentioned 'possibly' taking him to a movie tonight. Gabe told me this is what he said, "There is a free movie at the ampitheater tomorrow night. If you don't have plans with your mom then maybe we can go." That statement right there, before he ever checked with me, planted the seed in Marc's head that he was going to movie with his dad, period. Gabe still doesn't get Marc's way of thinking. Of course, he's never around him anymore so why would he?

So.....long story short....Marc is now staying with me and I will now be the bad guy because I wanted him with me. Yup...no one wins here. I had told Marc I wanted him to do what he wanted to do. I was not angry with him in ANY way. I was mad at Gabe for not checking with me before he opened his mouth and even presented that as a possiblity.

I'm crazy aren't I? I should have probably just smiled and waved, smiled and waved. Let him have the time I wanted and that was rightfully mine and give up, right?